On the Sixth Day

 We made it through Christmas with some big feelings and a few tears but overall, it was a very nice time.

The only big "oooof" moment was when the (adult) kids accidentally set a place for mom at the table. Of course, it was my father-in-law who noticed and announced "There's one too many!"  To which the room went silent for one beat then we rolled with it.

I mostly defrocked the house on the 27th.  My brain could not handle the "clutter" and things not being where they normally are.  The alphabet brain has been at full strength lately.  While boxing up stuff, I still sent items off the goodwill.  I maybe, might have, also bought some gnomes on clearance for next year.

Every year I lament how I store the actual ornaments. Usually they all fare well, if something get broken it's because I've dropped it.  It just takes a long time to rebox, or wrap, and organize them all into this huge tote that I have.  Last year I was going to buy an ornament storage box but then everything started falling apart and I promised myself "NEXT year, no matter what."

After some fits and starts, I ordered one and it arrived on a Friday.  Kevin was excited because it meant the tree was getting put away.  What happened was I got overwhelmed with putting the actual box and dividers together.  Three days later, I finally took everything down and put it away.  

Yes, the ornament box is worth it.  Once I got it together and a rhythm going, it went pretty smoothly.  Also, it fits on the top shelf of Monica's Closet so it's out of the way and lessens even more the chance of something breaking.

Then I did the superstitious cleaning of the house prior to the New Year.  I've done this for years so it's not unusual.  We stayed home for New Year's Eve because neither of us are big party people anymore. (also: 15 year sober! As of the 1st)  We watched Oppenheimer (good, long, not so much with the uplifting) then Kevin crashed.  I think "powering through" finally caught up with him.  

We went for a drive/four-wheeling on New Years Day, returning to a place of our second ever date.  We had Happy Meals for lunch/dinner and just relaxed.  

For all the anticipation, the holidays passed with little fanfare and not as many high emotions as we expected.  I say this with relief because it's been so difficult to predict.  I am glad that we kept it low-key this year, I think that was exactly what we needed.  

Now it's the sixth and I had a realization that we're good.  We're both happy, relaxed.  We're not teary or sad or depressed.  Sure we have our moments and we will probably forever.  It feels like that burden has lifted.  Like a metaphorical mantle has been removed from our shoulders.

With that, Kevin and I have always been a team because it's only ever been just the two of us. Certainly it's waxed and waned because we're human.  But we've never had the "interference" of having children and with that we have also missed many bonding experiences that people who are parents share.

However, since 2023 has happened and we're truly starting to look at and plan for the Rest of This Life, we have bonded again, similarly to the olden days when we were dating.  So, if that's the good that comes from the awfulness of this past year, then it...well, it's not worth it...but it's the shiny side.

Okay, enough of the mushy stuff sorta kinda.  Today I was finally finishing organizing Monica's Closet. But like for real, it's completely done. I've made such good progress this year, even with bringing home stuff from the parents house.  This past year has caused me to cull through things as if my life depended on it.  

I had the realization that Niece and Nephew aren't going to want this stuff. I also don't want to leave a mess of useless stuff for them to cull through.  It's time to use it or get rid of it.  I've taken one load to goodwill and made one trip to recycling.  I've put stuff out in the cupboards, up on the walls, or out where we can see it.

I have one file box left.  It has family photos that still need to be in scanned then put into albums.  It still has paperwork leftover from my childhood scrapbook that I suspect will mostly end up in recycling. There was also the half-finished scrapbook of all our trips to Vegas.  

This is where I went down the rabbit hole a little bit.  There was an album of postcards and an album of ticket stubs and ads or articles of places we went.  I went through it and added some, took out some, threw out stuff I was keeping just in case that I'll never do anything with.  I'm done with the project for now as in a perfect world, I need a bigger scrapbook.  That will be another day and it doesn't live in Monica's Closet.

While doing this, I thought about the first time Kevin went with his racecar friends and had a Hangover kind of experience, the first time I went and fell in love with Vegas, which is odd because I don't gamble or drink.  I remembered my very staid sister-in-law puking out the car door in the middle of the boulevard, Kevin hating being on top of the Eiffel Tower.  Getting murdered at the end of The Mob Experience. Racing with friends.  So much laughter and adventures with our friends. 

Next project was correspondence from my childhood best friends.  Much of that went straight into recycling as I don't recall most of the references anymore. Also: Cringe Level 1,000.   I saved some that specifically that mentioned a milestone or a person who remains important.  I'm boxing up some and sending them to my friend to reminisce.  (Frog, you can put them directly in the fire but you should peek first! lol)

Now remains a pile of photos that need to go into albums.  I'm considering doing that tomorrow while I'm on a roll and Kevin will be gone all day.  Monica's Closet is clean, organized and finished.  After living in this house for eighteen years, it's finally complete.

I spent the rest of the evening in my rocker and relaxed for the first time ever in this room; watching the fire and listening to music.  My office is finally a space I can relax and spend time.  On the Sixth Day, she finally got her cozy space.