Melodramatic Much

 Smart watch update.  About a year ago, I "accidentally" got a smart watch.  What started as an experiment, turned into both Kevin and I being adorned with electronic babysitters.

Overall, I really like having the watch. It encourages me to keep a higher step count, reminds me to stand up and walk around when I'm working, and I like being able to triage messages.  I can glance at my watch and know if it's something that needs a response or if someone sent me a ticktock to watch. The flaw is  that I glance and my brain checks off the message on my internal to-do list.  I use the timers and alarms like a true neurodivergent.  We measure our blood pressure and heart rate before and after visiting my father-in-law. 

One of the features I set up was the In Case of Emergency and Medical Info settings.  I'm allergic to some antibiotics and have food allergies.  Also, it felt like when Lucy and I were doing Big Walkies, there needed to be some safeguards in place.

Like a Fall alert.  It alerts if a hard fall takes place, which I thought was a no-brainer because well, we've met me.

Until.

Until I'm getting ready to get into the shower and I'm in a tiny bit of a hurry because I had to go to a center to do training for work.  Meaning: I had to leave the house.  I set my watch on the bathroom counter then somehow swept it off onto the floor.  It landed on its side onto faux wood flooring with a THUNK.  I picked it up and replaced it onto the counter.

I was enough time in the shower to get all wet when my watch went off.  It sounded a little like an Amber Alert so I glanced at it and thought "It will shut itself off in a minute"  

And it didn't.

So, now soaking wet and with shampoo in my hair, I'm juggling to see my watch with NO GLASSES ON.  It is dialing 911.  

Yeah.

I panicked a little and when the operator came on, I explained "No emergency, my watch decided that I had fallen off a mountain and called you. My apologies"  The operator sounded bored and asked for my name then we disconnected.  

Set the watch back down and finished my shower.  I thought I heard my watch vibrate but didn't see anything when I glanced at it from the shower.  I figured I was probably just over-reactive because it CALLED 911.

Well, imagine my surprise when I picked up my phone to see three missed calls from Kevin.  Oh No.

AND a text message alert that a Hard Fall Had Been Detected:

 

OH NO

I phoned Kevin and he is all WTAF is happening. I explained and he hurriedly said "Call Niece because she is on her way!!"  He had called the KIDS to have them come over to check. The Nephew has already left for work and is not close. The Niece is probably getting Five ready for school or the bus.  Now everyone is in the family is alerted.

So I'm trying to text her while answering his questions and I still not wearing my glasses.   I'm panicking because everyone knows where the spare key is for our house so it's possible for someone bursting into the house while I'm still soaking wet, in a towel, and can't see. I'm fumbling a text to her while internally yelling at myself to just call, but what if she left her phone in the house and (like me) it's always on silent and...  Meanwhile, Kevin is still talking.

Then I get a response from Niece:

Finally, once that Kevin knew that I wasn't dead and the kids had been told to stand down, he says "Actually...that's a good idea. SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU but it needs to calm down."  We discussed reviewing the settings once everyone was calmed down and not in their feelings.

Then I got a text from Nephew:

There is zero shared DNA but he's still my kid lol

Now, of course, I'm late to work.  I'm scurrying around trying to get ready while Lucy is scurrying around behind me because now the vibe of the house is PANIC MODE and she would like to participate.  I had to use the one command that I hate to use:  "It's not that day", which means she dejectedly puts herself in her crate and the guilt is immense.

I make it out of the house and I'm on time for my meeting but off schedule.  I was going to try to make two stops before my meeting but now that's out of the window.  I'm rearranging everything in my head and trying to think about how to get to this center because it's been years since I've been there and...and...and...

A notification shows up on my watch.  It's a text from my BFF.  We don't text unless it's an emergency so I'm thinking "Oh no, what's wrong" and it's a Hey, are you okay? message.  It's me, I'm what's wrong.   The watch had also contacted her.

By now I'm on the freeway and mostly to my destination.  I tell my phone to dial instead of reply and told the above story probably significantly less calmly and with cursing.   "And now, I have to go do a training for a new advocate and pretend that I have my sh*t together"

So, yeah, the smart watch is working out well.