28 March 2010

So Here's the Thing

Kevin's oldest/dearest (not "longest" CK! hahaha) friend is married to my BFF D. They were married about seven years ago. W's first marriage and D's second.

On television this seems like it would be perfect for everyone involved.

Until there are problems. Then it just seems like a soap opera.

A long time ago I had a conversation with a roommate who thought your spouse should also be your best friend. I didn't agree: "You can't complain about your spouse to your best friend."
This plays in this situation as well. You can't complain about your spouse to your best friend when they are also your best friend.

We found a balance, which included not talking much about relationship issues. Which also resulted in a bit of a chasm when troubles arose.

And troubles have arisen. Our friends are separated.

While in divorce there is never a clear winner or a clear loser or a right and a wrong. We try to remember what I always say "There are three sides to the story: his, hers and what actually happened."

In this case however, it is pretty clear who is behaving badly. So not only are we suffering a loss of the marriage of one of our dearest friends, we are also losing a friend. Unfortunately what has happened probably cannot be undone.

So the shiny side of this could be that we might have a roommate for awhile. That could be fun.

What have you done when friends marriages have ended?

1 comment:

Jamie said...

Oh gosh, this is terrible. I have one divorced friend, and fortunately, I was only friends with her. Her ex is, was, and probably always will be, an idiot, so it really was her gain. Good luck with everything!