09 June 2006

The Dating Game


Oh for the love of all things Holy, my niece has begun dating.

She's "going with" a boy named Wayne. Wayne looks like a skateboarder and has the manners of an eight-year-old. I am so hoping it is a passing fancy. Considering her mother is straight-up crazy and my brother is completely incapable of choosing a proper mate, I'm hoping she has better luck in the romance department. I am a little skeptical as it also took me three tries to get marriage right. Her genetic odds are not great.


Anyhoo, I digress. It's never going to get better, this digression thing.


I was trying to remember the Dating Rules that my friend C and I had in high school. Some of them were silly, but upon retrospect, I think they were a good, solid set of guidelines:


1. Never date a guy you can take in a fistfight.
2. Never date a guy that wears more make-up than you do.
3. Never date a guy that can fit in your jeans.
4. Never date a guy that looks better in your clothes than you do.
5. Never date a guy that is better looking than you do.


Those are the rules that I remember. I've emailed C to see if she remembers any of the rest of them.
However, I do have others, more serious, to add:


NEVER date someone who can't decide if they want to be with you.
Never dates someone who is "misunderstood" People understand him perfectly. He's a loser, move on.
Never date someone who raises a hand to you. EVEN IN JEST. (Because I will hunt him down and inflict certain bodily harm...or just flatten all the tires on his car, like I did in high school for my little sister :-)


Date someone who makes you laugh because he's funny, not because he's disrespectful.
Date someone who make you feel good, not because he makes you *look* good.
Date someone who likes your friends, and whom your friends like.
Date someone who looks people in the eye and shakes your Dad's hand when they meet.
Date someone who opens door for you and says "Bless you" when you sneeze.


That's all I got for right now. I'm going to send them to my niece; I can do that because I'm the cool auntie. (:-D

I'll forward a copy to the Brother so he can post them on the fridge for an easy reference guide.

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