09 June 2006

High Alert Status

Much like Homeland Security, my dog has terrorism levels.

High Alert Status entails pricked ears, hair on end, intense focus, and a guttural "grrrr-uff" Let’s call it Red Level. High Alert Status happens on a regular basis and her humans are kept on a need-to-know basis. Unfortunately, we apparently don’t need to know often.
The dog has taken to patrolling her parameter from the comfort atop the picnic table on the deck. This, apparently, is the best vantage point.

Often, like just a moment to go, there is an Immediate Need to React.
Snoozing quietly on her post, she was suddenly compelled to be alert, launching off the table and barking. Apparently, a bird had entered her parameter without requesting permission for landing. Silly, silly bird.
Other times, it’s a raised head and pricked ears. She often looks at us, as if to say "Do you hear that? Should I get up? What do you think?" Most times, she decides "all clear" and we can go about our daily lives. This would be Yellow Level.

Sometimes, often when it’s just her and me home alone, she’ll look up and look at me with anxiety. She will look around as if she has just seen a ghost. Can I say just how much I HATE that? Yet, she doesn’t do it if the Mad Genius is around. So it’s either because he has extra-sensory powers that she trusts in more than me or
she’s just f#$king with me.

If we have company, she becomes the hostess. What would this be? Purple Level? "Here is our house. Here is my bum, please scratch me because they *never* scratch me. They don’t feed me either so excuse me while I supervise your eating, in case of emergency spillage." Yes, she is a cunning secret agent. She can only be foiled by food, it is her kryptonite.

Thankfully, we must again be on Green Level because she is snoozing on her post, much like Snoopy upon his doghouse. All is right with the world, for now.

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