06 December 2018

I Can't Want To

I'm learning something new at work and usually I'm all in with this situation. 

Today though, man, I just can't. 

So far, I've more frequently than necessary checked email and social media.  I've completed other tasks of my job.  I've decorated for the holidays.

I'm not normally like this.  I usually like learning new things.  But I've had this project since right before I went on vacation and it keeps getting bumped (unintentionally and intentionally) to the bottom of the pile.

I started today with the intention of completing it.  I have thirty-five minutes left of my day and here we are:  Off task.  And sure, I'll be pouty and resentful when that folder is staring me in the face tomorrow.

Now I'm being all self-analytical.  "Why? why don't you want to do this?"

To be fair: I haven't been fully trained in this task.  I know about half of what I need to know.  I'm referring back to training that I had years and years ago: "If there is a field asking for info, fill it."  Which is helpful, but the documents don't match the screen; which prompts a lot of "I know I just saw it. *flipping pages* sonofa...Oh, here it is."

Oh, and some of these forms are in Spanish.  I get extra Challenge Points for that.

AND, I can't refer to the University of Google and YouTube because it's a specialized database.  Nothing in my bag of tricks is making this work.

If I really think about it: I don't like things that I'm not immediately successful with.  Not to be all Miss Smarty Pants, but stuff like this usually comes super easy to me.  So when it doesn't, tantrums ensue.  And I make mature decisions like "Hey, I'll write about this and then at least I accomplished that."

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