Kevin really is one of the smartest people I know. Subterfuge is not his thing though. I mean, take shopping for his wife as an example.
He requested a list for Christmas so I made him one with five items on it. None of them difficult and not requiring going to a special store. My only request is that he doesn't go with his brother because it's super fun discovering that my sister-in-law received the exact same present as me.
Item #1: a man's watch. He had forgotten his so I put it on my wrist to remember to give it to him. I realized that I liked the weight and the looseness of it. I don't like tight things on my wrists at all. (criminal in a former life, I'm guessing)
He didn't want to because he didn't want his wife to look like a truck driver. LOL, what? I understand that it's an unusual request. He did ask if I wanted a watch like that or just liked wearing HIS watch and it's probably a little bit of both. About a minute into the discussion I realized something:
"Wait, Kevin? Let me understand: you wanted a list of things to buy me for Christmas and now you're debating said list?" He laughed and said yes.
Item #2: After painting our bathroom, I want to do some remodeling. BFF K gave me a mirror for my birthday. I can put in the common folk bathroom, or buy another one and put it in the master bathroom, or buy two more and have everything match.
This intrigued Kevin and he wanted all the mirrors to match because the OCD is strong in him. Okay, I win.
Item #3: pretty light covers for the master bath light and our bedroom. This started a "There isn't a light like that in the bathroom" debate, closely followed by a "We looked at the junk shop and couldn't find one that fit." Because.We.Didn't.Measure. I win, again.
Items #4 & 5: new cozy flannel sheets and a cozy new blanket for our bed.
I knew he wasn't going to get either of those ones so it was kind of a throw-away request.
He went, was gone about an hour, and one phone call later, he returned. Every year he leaves the present in the shop, wraps it there and depending on what it is, takes it next door or puts it under our tree.
I was very specific: the wrapping paper is behind the door in the office. Scissors and tape are in the middle drawer of the desk. I went into my office this morning and the door to Monica's Closet was open. Why? We don't know and we're not going to ask.
AND, I have a pile of about twenty paper bows on my desk that are crushed and mangled. I left them there last night with the intention of googling what to do with them today. Notice the bow when you look at the photo below.
When I entered the living room, I noticed the brown wrapping paper first. It matches nothing else that is wrapped and is on top of other presents. THEN I noticed the giant present LEANING ON THE TREE.
Bless his heart, he will never work for the CIA.