08 December 2018

It's Not His Job

Couple friends of ours have hit a rough patch.  They have two young children  and at that horrible time when neither of the kids are in school yet. Also, her Pinterest perception of what motherhood should look like is wrong.

(I will preface this with I really like her, I really do.  She's almost twenty years younger than me so my perspective has experience behind it that she doesn't yet possess.)

And then there's Jesus.   

She'll talk about praying to understand why life is so hard, or for strength, or whatever, quite a bit.  Then she'll mention not finding the help/solace that she's looking for.

I just want to grab her by the shirt and say "JESUS isn't going to FIX THIS" while gesturing wildly. This is not broken, this is difficult. This is what life looks like. Her life is exactly the life that every stay-at-home mom with young kids has.  I  want to dial my nephew and niece with the six kids, three pets, and two jobs then hand her the phone: "Talk to them about your problems.  I think they'll find your problems Adorable." 

She has this perception that if she prays hard enough that suddenly her kids won't act their age, or that her husband won't have to work 8+ hours plus commute so she can be home, or that the puppy will stop doing puppy things.  Also, Jesus didn't make any of these choices so yelling at him about it seems misguided.

I'm not demeaning that it's difficult, I'm demeaning the approach that he's going to suddenly notice her and make it better.  She's a SAHM with little financial worries and a good support system. I know this is surface level and thou shalt not judge and all that but it's not like she's the opposite of all that. 

None of our kids are religious so we haven't really bumped into this situation.  Also, It's a confident guess that her upbringing was vastly different than what our kids experienced.

It's just astounding to me when someone has a skewed perspective of their life then gets frustrated that Jesus doesn't fix it.  a) it's not his job 2) it's not broken: it's life and c) let's look around at others lives and find some perspective. 

This is the part that I find ironic.  Wouldn't life be just a little bit easier if you're not waking the kids up on Sunday and dragging them to church for most of the day?  Or to bible study during the evenings?  They are younger than six, I think their tiny souls will be alright.

This is one of those situations where I find religion frustrating. She believes that if she just prays enough and is dedicated to the church enough that life will get easier or she will suddenly gain insight.  Umm, no. that's not how any of this works.

I always imagined praying was meant for the big stuff.  I imagine God/Jesus/whatever thinking "Really?  This?  This is what you're asking for?"  Let's keep prayer in reserve for the dying parent, the sick kid, the gratitude when things are good; not just because kids are messy and loud.  The rest of the work is on us mere humans.

If you're a believer, you don't get to know why things happen.  He considers it none of your business, he has a plan.  Stop interfering, stop asking.  Just suck it up, buttercup.

Image result for even if the prayer is just thank you


Swistle said...

As you already know, I come from a very religious, very "talk constantly to Jesus about every single thing" background, and am no longer in that way of life, and boy, I sure enjoyed this post.

Ernie said...

Oh my gosh! I have a strong faith. My husband and I teach religious ed. His parents are religious zealots. They are insanely annoying. This woman has it all wrong. That isn't what prayer is for. I am totally with you - this is just life being life. Sounds like her choices are suddenly hard for her. Her 'problems' are most people's dream. There are people who are childless, and wish they weren't. I'm glad you like her, but don't you just want to smack her upside the head?