'Tue Apr 30'
A friend or relative could be ill, out of work, or otherwise beset by problems. You may want to do whatever you can to help out. This could be frustrating, but you will feel better for having done what you can. This person needs to face and deal with his or her responsibilities. They're out of your control to fix, Sagittarius.
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I like reading horoscopes the day after they post. Sometimes they're way, way, way off because Horoscopes. Sometimes it's like the above and it's smack on the nose.
Kevin's mom was in hospital again. She keeps trying to die and then rallies and doesn't. This sounds cold-hearted but she's been sick a long, long time. She has reached the point of not being able to fully bounce back. We honestly thought this might be it.
This week's diagnosis is Aphasgia - Level 3.This means she has lost the use of her esophagus.
She was in the hospital with malnutrition because of it. Don't look at us like that, look at them. They are the ones who waited so long because "We have a doctor's appointment coming up." Don't try to figure it out, there's no logic. It's literally like they agree "Okay, don't die because if you can just make it to two Thursdays from now, we can talk to the doctor."
And it's like they think the hospital has bankers hours. 24/7/365 is the gig, man. AND, while I'm on a roll...WTAF are they doing all day that makes going to a medical provider so doggone difficult?
Anyway.
They pumped her back up and did the procedure to diagnose. This took three days because she was too weak for a simple endoscopy. Then sent her home because there's really nothing to be done at this point. "Figure out what you can eat" they said. Kevin actually heard this part and we're squinting in response to the "Good luck with that!" tone from the medical community. Although, to be fair, they probably had already gone through this prior to the procedure and felt like it was repetitive. We'll never know. Because like teenagers, elderly parents tend to lie. And strangely, for the exact same reasons: they want to be independent.
So, like I always do, I put on my research nerd hat and went to work. We have the diagnosis so now it's time to figure out how "we" are going to live with this. The remedy/coping skill for this diagnosis is not easy but it's "easy":
Small, small bites at the largest but softened/pureed food is preferable
Many snacks, instead of meals
Smoothies, Ensure, and drinks such as that
Sit at the table, at 90-degrees when eating
Don't eat the foods on the list of Food You Do Not Eat
There were lists of foods and food combos that have been known to be successful. Mashed potatoes and gravy, like KFC style consistency. I naively thought "Oh, she's gonna like that."
Gravy on all.the.things. Another winner. Shakes of varying consistencies. Ice cream. Pudding. Creamy soups. Because no one cares about carbs or cholesterol at this point.
I mean, no one wants to be told what they can eat but it's not like a diabetes diet. This is not bad overall. I didn't see a single thing on the list that she didn't like. She will not like the stop eating red meat thing AT ALL. You know what else is on the list not to eat? GRAPES.
I printed it out, two copies, and emailed a copy to Kevin. He took it over to go over it with them.
Yeah, NO. Super, really, NOT interested. "It's fine" they said. "She can eat what she wants" they said. "The doctors didn't say anything about that." they said.
(I know things don't go well next door when Kevin, usually the loudest and happiest guy on the planet comes in the house and just sits down in his chair. This is the cue to RUN.)
It's so pretty in Denial. Have you been? Many people like to live there.
Now we flip to the page in the book where we say "We did what we could. They are going to do what they're going to do, and how's next Tuesday for your next visit to the hospital?"
Meanwhile, the father-in-law also thought it would be a great idea to mow all the lawns while we were at work, Two Weeks After he had his pacemaker installed. We're waiting to see if HE'S going back to the doctor now.
I think I'm going to hide their television remote as a consequence.
This week's diagnosis is Aphasgia - Level 3.This means she has lost the use of her esophagus.
She was in the hospital with malnutrition because of it. Don't look at us like that, look at them. They are the ones who waited so long because "We have a doctor's appointment coming up." Don't try to figure it out, there's no logic. It's literally like they agree "Okay, don't die because if you can just make it to two Thursdays from now, we can talk to the doctor."
And it's like they think the hospital has bankers hours. 24/7/365 is the gig, man. AND, while I'm on a roll...WTAF are they doing all day that makes going to a medical provider so doggone difficult?
Anyway.
They pumped her back up and did the procedure to diagnose. This took three days because she was too weak for a simple endoscopy. Then sent her home because there's really nothing to be done at this point. "Figure out what you can eat" they said. Kevin actually heard this part and we're squinting in response to the "Good luck with that!" tone from the medical community. Although, to be fair, they probably had already gone through this prior to the procedure and felt like it was repetitive. We'll never know. Because like teenagers, elderly parents tend to lie. And strangely, for the exact same reasons: they want to be independent.
So, like I always do, I put on my research nerd hat and went to work. We have the diagnosis so now it's time to figure out how "we" are going to live with this. The remedy/coping skill for this diagnosis is not easy but it's "easy":
Small, small bites at the largest but softened/pureed food is preferable
Many snacks, instead of meals
Smoothies, Ensure, and drinks such as that
Sit at the table, at 90-degrees when eating
Don't eat the foods on the list of Food You Do Not Eat
There were lists of foods and food combos that have been known to be successful. Mashed potatoes and gravy, like KFC style consistency. I naively thought "Oh, she's gonna like that."
Gravy on all.the.things. Another winner. Shakes of varying consistencies. Ice cream. Pudding. Creamy soups. Because no one cares about carbs or cholesterol at this point.
I mean, no one wants to be told what they can eat but it's not like a diabetes diet. This is not bad overall. I didn't see a single thing on the list that she didn't like. She will not like the stop eating red meat thing AT ALL. You know what else is on the list not to eat? GRAPES.
I printed it out, two copies, and emailed a copy to Kevin. He took it over to go over it with them.
Yeah, NO. Super, really, NOT interested. "It's fine" they said. "She can eat what she wants" they said. "The doctors didn't say anything about that." they said.
(I know things don't go well next door when Kevin, usually the loudest and happiest guy on the planet comes in the house and just sits down in his chair. This is the cue to RUN.)
It's so pretty in Denial. Have you been? Many people like to live there.
Now we flip to the page in the book where we say "We did what we could. They are going to do what they're going to do, and how's next Tuesday for your next visit to the hospital?"
Meanwhile, the father-in-law also thought it would be a great idea to mow all the lawns while we were at work, Two Weeks After he had his pacemaker installed. We're waiting to see if HE'S going back to the doctor now.
I think I'm going to hide their television remote as a consequence.
1 comment:
This was all so good/relatable. The title. The inexplicable waiting to see a doctor, and what is it exactly they're doing all day. The teenager/elderly comparison.
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