24 June 2020

Do Not Use The Calendar

Tech support for the elderly is going to be my next bloggity, I think. Or career.

Over the last four days...maybe five, it's all a blur...I have purchased and "fixed" a new cell phone multiple times, reconnected wifi, and fixed a smart phone and a tablet. As addressed in the opening line: none of these devices are mine.    

It started with my new favorite chestnut: "My phone doesn't work" the other day.  This time it was my father-in-law.  So we started with the required "What doesn't work?" process.  It won't ring and he can't hear it.  Last time this happened was because he did this wacky thing called "turning it down".  

Oh, and this is via Kevin because "we don't want to bother Surely."

*head*desk*head*desk*

As you may remember, my f-i-l has a crappy little flip phone.  He is beyond uninterested in having a smart phone and I am beyond uninterested in teaching another human how to use one.  So, I looked up his phone on my cell provider app and sure enough, it was Just Paid Off.  I don't know what's worse: that it is paid in full or that "we" already need a new one.  

I told Kevin that I would go over when I was done working and look at it.  "No" he says, "Just get him a new one."  This sentence tells me that this has been happening a while and Kevin is 100% over this topic. The line starts here, Kev.

Instead, I searched on the app for flip phones and couldn't find one.  This meant going into town to buy one.  SUPER.  (quick tip: search "basic phones")  Luckily for me, I had to go to the grocery store anyway and this gave me motivation to actually go.

In the meanwhile, Kevin's dad phones me. From his phone...the one that doesn't work.  He tells me what Kevin has already explained.  Then he ante's up with "And I'm paying for it.  I'm paying for it or I just won't have a phone,"  Because that is a perfectly reasonable thing to declare.  "Well, first off: that's ridiculous." I say "And I've already talked to Kevin and I'm working on it. Hold tight."

We pay for their phone service and phones, that is why he made that declaration.  They are not signers on the account so by design sorta, they have to go through us for these kinds of things. I told him I was working on it instead of "I'm going right now" to avoid any further nonsense.  It's easier to just go and do it than to argue.  So, off to the store I went.

The process was surprisingly painless.  No contact sales, only three options, (because: flip phones), and automated everything.  I will share something I learned from Kevin: when looking at the options, I asked the salesperson "Which one would you buy your grandpa?"  This question immediately eliminated one of the phones and highlighted another because of it's simplicity.

Once I got home, I put the phone together (no touch sales, remember), charged it, transferred contacts, chose a ringtone and the font size. It didn't take too long, all said and done.  However, I waited until Kevin came home to deliver it next door.   As challenging as my m-i-l can be, f-i-l doubles it.  He wavers between over-confidence and literally "I'm too stupid to figure this out."  So Kevin took point.  He gave it to his dad, gave him a cursory tour of it and we went home.

This is where I say that a flip phone is a flip phone is a flip phone.  How could this POSSIBLY be difficult?  Oh silly Surely.  You naive girl.

First though: since his stroke, f-i-l says "calendar" when he means "contacts". This is important.

We had been home not even ten minutes when he phoned.  He needed help.  Kevin stopped mowing the yard and we walked over.  "I don't know where my calendar is" he says.

Kevin is confused "Why do you need your calendar?"
Me, Stage whisper: "Kev, he means contacts"
Kevin, Not Stage whisper: "He said calendar"
Emphatic stage whisper: "I KNOW. He MEANS contacts"
"Dad, do you mean your contacts?"  Sigh. Thanks for making it weird, Kev.

Kevin shows him three times where the contacts are. To be fair to the f-i-l, contacts are not featured on the main screen like before, but in the settings menu.  Because no one uses the contact menu anymore.  But that is not the issue right now.

I'm trying to encourage Kevin to show him how to call from the (admittedly empty right now) Call Log instead of the contacts.  Kevin is resistant and I'm all "Whelp, you do you and we'll see how it works out."  

And then Kevin accidentally shows him the wrong way to call from the calendar.  I was all Rick Castle, standing out of sight from the parents:
Castle GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Now, again, f-i-l is certain he has it.  I am not certain but am confident that we would be back.  Fifteen minutes later and Kevin is back next door.  F-i-l had managed to get into the edit contact mode and wasn't able to get back out of it.  

To be fair, it isn't easy to do and it took me a minute.  But this is where I say that if we taught him to call from the Call Log and Not the Calendar, this might not be a thing.  I am a grown-up most of the time, and held my tongue.

I fixed it, showed Kevin how not to do that and sent him on his way to return the phone. Encouraging him as he went out the door to show him how to call from the call log instead.  Because I sometimes choose my battles, just in a cowardly way.

You would think we were done.  We weren't.  The next day, AFTER Kevin gets home from a 12-hour day (remember: I'm working from home now)  Kevin brings the phone over for me to fix the exact same issue.  I told him that I would just go get another phone tomorrow.  No, he'll figure it out, he says, on behalf of his dad. This is Friday now.

Sunday, the phone is back at our house.  Same issue.  After some tense negotiation, I decided to just go into town and trade it in.  I needed a break at this point anyway and the longer we wait, the less likely we'll be able to exchange it.  Into town I go, twenty minutes one way, and the store is closed.  PERFECT. Thanks, Pandemic.

I returned home, handed the phone to Kevin and said "I'll go tomorrow. I don't want to talk about it anymore."  He took that on face value and returned the phone to his dad.  He returned later and said "He wants to keep it. He likes it."  I admit to counting to at least ten before responding.  There may have been a hand gesture.
  
Oh!  I forgot. The other issue: he keeps picking it up when it rings and somehow hanging it up.  Again, it's a flip phone so it does require some flexibility.  The zippy twist is that he DOESN'T call whoever back.  He just shrugs and moves on with his life.  SIGH.  So, my point being is that he struggled with that part too.  But now he LIKES the phone.  Wants to KEEP it.

That was Sunday night.  I'm writing this on Tuesday morning.  GUESS WHO JUST WALKED BY MY WINDOW? (I swear to all the gods, this is true)

He had opened his calendar again and was editing his contacts again and couldn't get out of it. Again.  I got out of it for him, not even bothering to show him how.  Instead, I showed him how to call from the CALL LOG instead of the calendar. By now the call log is full of the numbers he uses on the regular.  He seems to understand this part.  I am emphatic to Not Use the Calendar.

This is where he says that a) he uses my m-i-l's phone to call the doctor's.  WUT.  He makes it sound like the smart phone is too much but he uses it to phone the doctor offices!?!?!  Okay, deep breath, we're not thinking about that right now.

And 2) "Can you do me a favor?" he asks when I'm finished. Sure, why not, I'm committed at this point. He needed all the dead (literally) people taken out of his contacts.  There were four.  Just removing them made his calendar easier to manipulate.  Oh, and I'm doing this while standing in the doorway, blocking the way because he keeps trying to come inside.  

 It's now Wednesday morning and *knock wood* it has been quiet.  I've done many wrong things in my life but this *waving my hands around me* should automatically earn me a ticket into heaven.  Where I'll probably still have to work on everyone's phones.





1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh. My. God.