Gravity is A Thing

It is no secret that I tend to take on big projects when my brain gets too full.  This Spring has been a shining example of that.

I whined and whined about waiting for the weather to change so I could work in the garden.  Then the weather changed to warm and humid in the blink of an eye.  Suddenly the garden is growing, Growing, GROWING.  But this is a good problem to have. Mostly.

Tens of years ago, I rescued a pot of ivy from next door.  Kevin wanted to bury it because he considers it the devil.  No, I said, I will keep it trimmed. I said. It will be perfect. I said.  Fast forward: lovely but taking over the rock garden and not the hill that I had hoped for.

After a few tense negotiations and Lucy digging in it, I finally relented.  I started just trimming the ivy out of the rock garden, then I had to remove an area that Lucy had killed while hunting.  Then I realized just how ingrown the buttercups had become within the ivy.  Buttercups have been the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE for two years now.  BANE.  Turns out that one my favorite flowers as a child is an invasive plant.  Because: of course it is.  When buttercups take over IVY, things have gone sideways.

Anyway.

After working for more than an hour to try to trim the ivy into submission and remove the buttercups, I reluctantly decided that it all had to go.  I wish that I took better photographs but I was in the moment.

The ivy was in a giant hard plastic pot and embedded into the embankment.  I thought for sure that the plastic would be brittle, maybe even already broken.  It was not.

Now, the part I really hated: I needed Kevin's help.  To his credit, he did not gloat.  He was a little too gleeful at the idea of removing the ivy in any way he saw fit.  So that had to be tamped down a little.  We finally freed the original pot of ivy and Kevin rolled it down over the embankment to do battle with the blackberry bushes.  And to be the bane of our ancestors, probably.

Now there was a giant space where the ivy used to was.  Hmmm.  

We had some wonky cinder blocks from a project.  I have been trying to figure out how to make steps so that I don't break my neck trying to get up and down the two levels.  So I made what I affectionately call Redneck Steps.  It fills the space and solves a problem.

Also the problem with the steps was that it was muddy around them. I knew that a few good rains and they would be washed away.  So I began stealing rocks from the other parts of the garden to fill in around them.  This is where having the pit boss of an excavation company for a husband comes in handy.

This is what is called 4-to-8 rock; meaning that it measures 4 to 8 inches in circumference.  Kevin had one of his guys load him up with rocks that I could handle. This is the first load and it was over 400 lbs. And buddy, some of those rocks were on the 8+ inches side.  

I got up early the next morning to unload the truck before Kevin's dad would notice what I was doing.  Wait, first: I had to buy a wheelbarrow two days before On My Anniversary, because we have "donated" two of them to next door.  Because it was brand new, I wanted to attempt to keep it nice.  AND it was 7:30 in the morning so I was trying to be quiet.  This is where I took an old towel and lined the brand new wheelbarrow with it before I unloaded rocks.

Yes, I do have issues. Thanks for noticing.

It took about an hour, maybe two of unloading rocks and walking them almost sixty feet to the place in the garden where they would be placed.  I made more trips than necessary because I was trying to be quiet and careful.  This was what I was thinking I would do:

The ivy is still there and the stupid buttercups.  I had trimmed it back but hadn't sprayed poison or raked them away yet.  Also, if some of it survives and grows to the RIGHT of the garden in a proper fashion, I wouldn't be mad.  That is a clay hill that is steep and impossible to grow anything BUT ivy and buttercups.

As I stood there, admiring my work, I thought about how I've always struggled with the garden just abruptly ending into the grass.  Because there is no barrier there, grass and weeds tend to wander freely into the topsoil/mulch.  Hmmm.

Also, I still had some rocks left.  I continued putting rocks along the ivy, up to the next block wall.  But now I didn't have enough to finish that section.  AND now it looked unfinished.

When Kevin came home, I mentioned that I needed another load of rocks.  "As much as? Less? More?"  I guessed, absolutely GUESSED and said "Same"  The next day, truckload number two arrived of nearly 500 lbs.  I think he was skeptical to start with but the request for a second load of rocks both surprised him and scared him a little bit.  

So, rinse and repeat unloading the rocks on the down low. These rocks were not as small this time. There may have been cursing.  I unloaded two loads at the bottom of the garden like in the above photos. Then I realized a few things:

Gravity is a thing 

I'm not young anymore

I am not tall

Reluctantly, I walked all the way around to the top of the garden and looked down.  It's sketchy steep from that standpoint. I've worked there occasionally and just kind of slide on my bum so that I don't fall and roll into the house below.  I have made the "joke" of needing rappelling equipment to work on that section of the garden. 

This is one of those How Do You Eat An Elephant situations. First, one bite at a time.  Second, you just have to start.  

I moved the truck up into the driveway, above where I needed to work.  Lucy thought we were going to get coffee so she sat in the truck the Entire Time.  Nothing adds stress like an impatient supervisor.

Starting against the fence, where it is kinda level, I stacked rocks by leaning over the fence.  Then I unloaded more rocks onto that pile, jumped the fence and started to work down the hill; placing rocks like a jigsaw puzzle.  

But Gravity is A Thing.  Some just slid away, some stayed.  I tried two more times, taking a little more risk with working on the hill.  Then I realized that this is all going to be for nothing if I end up dead at the bottom of the garden.

Back up to the truck I go.  I stood there and muttered like a crazy person. Finally, out of frustration and Hey Maybe This Will Work, I started tossing some of the lighter rocks down the hill.  This was met with mild, at best, success.  Some would land where I wanted, some would happily bounce all.the.way.to.the.bottom.  and some would land elsewhere.

It wasn't a win but it wasn't a loss either.

I'm getting frustrated because I wanted to do this by myself and it was looking like I was going to need Kevin to help.  But the truck needed unloaded either way.  So I started tossing rocks again.  

Hey.

Gravity.

Gravity is a THING.

Remember I said that the second load had bigger rocks?  I had shoved those to the side with the intention of using them somewhere else.  What if, WHAT IF, I made a backstop of sorts that would hold the rocks that I was throwing?  

I took three of the bigger rocks (instead of 4-to-8 inches, there were more like 12 inches)  SLID them down the hill then scrambled down after them.  There is a plant right in the middle that was (was) a little more hearty, and it could take a hit if I missed.

Taking those three rocks, I made a wall around that plant that would theoretically stop the smaller rocks from rolling and keep me from killing that plant.  This also caused a little curve to the pathway I was building so if this worked, it was going to be genius.

Back up the hill I climb, with a little more enthusiasm than before.  I started tossing and sliding rocks down the hill.  And it worked, the rocks would stop at the backstop I created.  Mostly.  Sure a few took a bounce and went wherever but enough of them stayed to make this worthwhile.

I had to crawl back down there twice: once to place another large rock to keep things from sliding and once to retrieve the wayward rocks from the garden, the grass, etc.  Otherwise, I kept throwing rocks down the pathway until all I had left was about ten really big rocks that I knew would end in disaster if I even tried.

Lucy and I put the truck away while she tried to convince me that we needed coffee and treats. She was not wrong but I had a mission to complete and there was no way I was going anywhere without a shower.  So she pouted then slept on the deck while I finished.

Working from below, I placed the rocks a little more logically, rescued a few more wayward ones, and tidied up if you will.  I have to admit, it went remarkably easy once I figured out how to do it.  It became a game: figuring out which rocks would land, which would bounce, which would just laugh as they bounced down the hill.

I still have some larger rock left over so I'm wondering what else I can do.  At the top of the hill and in the grass, you can see hydrangeas that were put there in another attempt to let something grow wild and take over the hill.  Again though: stupid buttercups.  AND then landscaper hadn't come yet at this point of the story.  But maybe a fairy garden of sorts up there.

I've already created this up there:

                                      This is at the top of the garden, near where I was working.

                                                                                  SIGH