Just One More Thing

 Contrary to the evidence that I'm writing this post, I have no internet.  It's snowing outside.  I'm jittery from my inhaler.  The contractors just cancelled for the parents house. I have two garbage bags of dry goods sitting on my kitchen floor.  And I decided that this morning was a good time to cut my hair.

How's your day going?  Oh, good.

(my response to your response works either way: Good = I'm happy you're having a good day or Good = I'm with you, friend. Life sucks right now.)

Let's just randomly start talking about all.the.things. that are happening.

The bags of dry goods on the floor is from the parents house.  I had to empty all of their food out because...ugh...a list:

a) we don't know when things are going to play out, if you will.  So most of the food will be expired

b) the house is so dirty that it feels like all of it should go, just on that principle. 

c) There was a water leak and the contractors have torn out the kitchen and bathroom.  This added urgency to the clean out the refrigerator, the freezer, the countertops (canisters, butter dish, bread box, spice rack) and the "pantry" cupboards.

So I have been playing "Expired, Not Expired or How Soon Expired?" for days now.  The oldest I had was 2018 canned goods yesterday morning until today's record of a packet of instant rice dated...2012.

I completely lost the game on Sunday when I brought over jarred goods from the refrigerator that had expired and needed recycling or nearly expired and we could use them.  One bite of a pickle that felt both hard and mushy and had a metallic taste had me spitting it into the garbage that smelled like TWO expired jars of minced garlic, just to add to the ambience.  

And now it's been snowing for two days.  We had only 1-2 inches yesterday on top of ice and a skiff of snow.  Now it's more like 3-4 inches and still snowing.  The contractors have cancelled for the day and I'm waiting for the same call for the internet repair.  Because who needs to work? Apparently not me.

I'm jittery from the inhaler because of aforementioned Parent's House.  What I had always attributed to Flowers that My M-i-l Buys in attempt to kill me, was actually dust, dirt, and mold.  I have gone months without needing my inhaler only to be a wheezing mess on the daily. #sosexy  Also, it took days to figure out that she uses scented garbage bags that my lungs also do not enjoy.

And I've been eating like an unsupervised child at a birthday party.  Coco Puffs for breakfast, Lotus drinks all the live-long day.  The sister-in-law has been cooking for everyone and they don't eat healthy at all ever. Plus we've been eating while we're in town for the ease and quick of it.

So of course my hair is bothering me. Like it does, in these instances.  It's way past time for a big girl haircut again but See All of The Above.  Now is just not the time.  I've nearly given myself bangs again because I can't deal with my hair in my face AND all of this. I have limits and shaving my head will cause me to have to move out. 

What else?  Oh paperwork.  I've rounded up all the parents paperwork finally.  I discovered a plastic basket under the free-standing jewelry box in their bedroom with their health info/medicare stuff for the past year.  Apparently, that's where we keep things now.  #letyourfriendsknow

I also found two big shoe boxes of important paperwork buried, unlabeled, in their closet.  Finally I have the actual life insurance policy and the title to one of their vehicles.  Yes, they have a lock box and imagine my surprise to not being able to find either of those in it. #rookie

Plus two photo albums...because she keeps hiding photos everywhere.  I think I'm done and then there's more. This has been going on FOR YEARS.  There is also a box (two, kinda) of sentimental items that I just don't have the strength to go through right now, as much as curiosity is killing me.

Finally, my father-in-law announced yesterday that he is NOT returning to their house after she passes. Not. He doesn't want to be there without her.  While I get that on an emotional level, I am at Panic Level 3000.  This means he lives with the siblings, which is apparently going to be a thing.  This also means that everything we packed up to get out of the way now needs packed up to GO Away.

Well, you just thought: isn't that the same thing? isn't that a good thing?  No, because we thought this was temporary - the water was shut off at their house - and we didn't WASH anything.  We had the intention of doing it while unpacking.

Now we have to re-sort and wash that stuff and now we may also have to start packing the rest of the house.  It's not like it's a lot of stuff but it's still just One More Thing.  (which has become a contender for my auto-biography title) As my sister-in-law is doing the lion's share of the care of the parents, it feels like TO ME that this is my and Kevin's thing. I don't see the f-i-l even coming back up to his house at this point and he is in the headspace of "Get rid of all of it, I'll buy new if I need something."

And if you wondered about Kevin's brother helping, the answer would be No.  He has hoarding tendencies, over-values stuff, and would just complicate matters SO MUCH.  His wife wondered at one point about him helping with a specific task.  I asked her "Are you ready for that stuff to come live at your house? Because that is what would happen."  She thought about it then shook her head.  So, no, he can't help.

Now it's the next day.  My internet is still broken but the tech is here right now.  The crew just left with a load for the dump and I'm hoping that will allow me to go start packing up/make a plan.  I still owe hours at work and there is still a box of sentimental items that I need to cull through.

Plus, it has to be said: I need to write the obituary and start printing photos for the memorial.  Better to do it now when I'm in Task Mode instead of In My Feelings.