The topic of snooping on cell phones has recently arisen. I found myself in a situation that compelled me to dig around on someone's cell phone. To my relief, I found nothing to report. Though as Swistle pointed out, I was really in a spot if I had.
Unfortunately, it was a person in the family in whom we had doubt due to past behavior: serious and poor choices that affected the family as a whole.
We unfortunately had to confirm that he was being honest; that what he was making the changes he said he was. While snooping is still wrong, it is sometimes necessary. The relief I felt at the confirmation of his honesty over-rode the guilt I felt about checking up on him.
But this was a very specific situation. Someone with a pattern of dishonesty that we were allowing access to our lives again. Not just a Gladys Kravitz moment of snoopery.
As far as the Kevin's cell, I never look at his. I rarely answer it if it rings, it just doesn't feel right to me. I surely don't look at his texts or call log; as he with mine. But this also means that I don't feel that I (or he) have a reason to. Am I curious? Sure, as I am human. Just not enough to risk his trust by looking.
But what if you did? What if you were suspicious of a spouse?
If you have a reason to doubt, then I think all bets are off. I would fine-tooth comb that freaking cell phone AND the bill.
Or if it's your child? I think children's cell phones (that seems ridiculous to even write but it is a reality) should be checked regularly. I think as a parent, it would be a responsibility just like checking homework or grades. The cell phone will tell you who their friends are, what they're up to, and when.
I have had lost cell phones returned to my office. It feels like breaking and entering when I've had to look at the call log to try to figure out whose phone it is. It's like walking into a house and poking in the drawers. So much information can be stored on phones now.
So, this begs the question of cell phone etiquette: When is it proper to look at somone else's phone, if ever. A new relationship? An old one? Should it be okay or is it the breach of trust that I think it is?
1 comment:
Here is the reply from BFF D:
Any one over the age of 18 is not NOT NOT to have their cellphone to be checked.....unless the bill is shared, then, all bets are off.
Kids, you check and check often.
But if you have an of age person who has a cell phone acting fishy....too bad. Unless you are paying for their portion of the bill, hands off. No peeky peeky.
It is an invasion, it is wrong....even if they are effing you over, or themselves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The errors that this person made included stealing - cash & items - from family & work.
I checked for calls to the courthouse, collection agencies that were threatening liens, etc. and the absence of calls from a specific person.
I realize it probably wasn't the right thing to do but it gave me peace of mind that I couldn't afford to wait for time to pass.
*I realized that I wasn't specific enough about the situation.
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