Sometimes

At my last high school reunion I heard "You haven't changed a bit!", which is good to hear when you're not entirely sure that people won't gasp & point & whisper. No, I really didn't think that but I also didn't think that I would be questioned as to whether or not I am a vampire.

My favorite moment of the reunion is when I sassed an old friend and she nearly did a spit-take into her beer. She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, laughing and said "I just f*&king love you."

But I have also been told that I haven't changed in a negative tone. While I don't agree with this in any way, shape, or form, it made me realize just how much that I have.

Anyone who knows me in real life and has been paying attention knows that last five years have kicked my ass and certainly changed who I am.

I am quieter. Believe it or not, this is me: quieter. I listen more & talk less. I've found that I enjoy being an observer.

I am calmer. While the ADD still rides on my shoulder, I have learned to use it to my advantage. I am not the super active person I used to be. Again, I still have my moments but they're less.

While I retain my Queen of Smart Assery Crown, I am nicer now. I just don't have the energy for the negative. It's too heavy and a waste of time. On the flip side of that coin, however, I do not suffer fools gladly. I don't have the patience for drama and ignorance.

While this makes me sound all centered and zen, I surely am not. I am trying to be. I guess that's all any of us kind strive for.

Sometimes change isn't tangible. Sometimes it's not "Wow, you've lost weight" or "You haven't aged a bit." Sometimes it's more subtle than that.

And sometimes, we don't even realize it's happened until it's over with.