Death on Aisle 34

(this unpublished post is nearly a year old)

We used to have a golf cart to use at the racetrack.  I wasn't a fan of it, for multiple reasons.
Despite my objections, it was stored outside and my father-in-law used it for things not meant for golf carts.  So it was pretty used up and a little too redneck for my taste.  Secondly, after not being able to walk for months, I still cherish being able to do so.  So I take any opportunity to walk that I can.

You might be wondering why we would have a golf cart at the racetrack.  Well, if our pits end up being on the far end of the track, a person could have to walk up to a half mile to get to the staging lanes or the tower or whatever.  Or if something really goes wrong, it's an easy tow with the golf cart instead of one of our vehicles, that are often hooked to big trailers.

And mostly, Kevin's brother uses it.  Enough said.

Kevin had the great idea of getting bicycles for the pits.  At first I was a little "Um, look at me. Is this really a good idea?"  Then I decided to just go with it.

We went to Wally world because it isn't worth spending any kind of money on bikes that we might end up not using or use just a few times during the summer.  Yes, I'm aware that bikes can be ridden outside of the racetrack. Shush.

Scene: wally world. Bike aisle.

This is where I say that I've never had a new bike.  Grew up poor and with parents who weren't so much interested in providing such things.  I had a hand-me-down pedal bike that went through both brothers and a hand-me-down 12-speed that my grandma gave to my brother just before she died.  It was a boy bike and too big for me but I rode the wheels off of it anyway.

At the store, there are so many options.  Too many options, almost.  So I'm overwhelmed almost from the beginning.  And I know NOTHING about bikes. Two wheels and won't kill me. That's all I need.

There happened to be a cruiser bike out of the rack.  It's a little too girly for me but I've heard that they are comfortable to ride.  And this is where I almost died.

I haven't ridden a bike in tens of years.  Many tens of years.  The phrase "It's just like riding a bike"? It's nonsense.  Kevin had legit worry on his face.

It was a little too big for me because I'm less than tall but I tried it anyway.  The combination of polished concrete floors, narrow aisle, wide handlebars, and less-than-skilled rider nearly sent me crashing into all.the.things.

I skidded to a stop, got off, and just announced "NOPE"

Kevin, at this point, isn't sure what to do.  "Are you sure..." he cautiously asks "that you know how to ride a bike?"

After nearly clearing a shelf of helmets, I cannot be indignant.

We returned that bike to the rack and began to look again.  Again, I have zero idea what I'm looking at.  "Just find a color you like" he suggests.

"I like black. I do not like pink." because I am EIGHT.   All the bikes that I thought were my size were pink or had pink.  "The black ones are boy bikes" Kevin "helpfully" pointed out.  I just raised an eyebrow at him and kept looking.

Kevin found a bike almost immediately and tried it out.  "This will work" and he is happy.  Spotlight back on me.  I continue to look while he skillfully rides his bike around.  Boundaries? not his thing.  He's totally fine riding a bike in the store.  Me, not so much. Even if I did have the skill.

Eventually I notice that there are signs on the bikes that are "You can ride this ride if you are THIS Tall" THANK YOU.   Now we're making progress. I'm not small enough for a kid bike but I am good for the adolescent bike.  I'm too short for the grown-up bikes.

I found a bike I didn't hate so Kevin took it down and I tested it. A bike the correct size, I must say, is much easier to ride.  I didn't die.  I still wasn't the most confident of rider but I didn't die.  Even then, I scrunched up my face at Kevin "The seat is uncomfortable."

"Bike seats ARE uncomfortable."
"But this is UNCOMFORTABLE.  Don't make me say it."
"We'll find another bike"

Finally I kind of chose a good enough bike because I was over the adventure of buying bikes.  Indeed, all bike seats are uncomfortable but this one wasn't bad.  Kevin explained that he could adjust it and worse case: replace it.  "It's $100. It's not going to feel like your couch."  Fair enough.

And it has pink.  Sigh. It's predominately black so that's good.  I wondered aloud if we can take the decals off and Kev was all "Nope".  "Can we paint it?"  This time I got the raised eyebrow.  FINE.

We paid and wheeled them out to the truck.  I'm excited at this point and ignoring the price tags on this "surely it can't be that expensive" adventure.  "You know, you could ride it out here. It is yours."

No, I didn't know that. I'm a little embarrassed to say that I didn't think of that. I jumped on and it felt like a completely different bike now that the risk of dying in the middle of the store was gone. I loved it.  I was actually excited.

Fast forward a few days and we were at the racetrack with our new bikes. It was so great and I am sad we didn't think of this a long time ago.  Even more fun, a few of our friends had their bikes so we were like a little gang.

(gratuitous racecar photo)