Ten Topics, Twenty Minutes

 Kevin made me phone my mom on Thanksgiving.  My inner toddler was so pissed but I did it.  He actually said he wasn't going to do something I needed until I did it.  We are a match made in heaven, let me tell you.  I resentfully phoned my mom and hoped on the fourth ring that it was going to the answering machine.  Yes, answering machine. Not voicemail.  

But she answered, sounding flustered but pleasant.  After the introductory pleasantries, she announced that no one was there yet and how nice it was.  Umm, Happy Thanksgiving? She went on to explain how "everyone" got in her way last year and she "might have" said something.  Thanks Covid, that I missed that.

I could tell that she was going to be on a roll so I started to make a list while silently flipping off Kevin, who was in the other room.

The hummingbirds had repeatedly emptied her feeders but now they're not.

The Santa Anna winds are kicking up in Southern California, where my aunt recently moved into assisted living, and she's "allergic" to them.  

This prompted a soliloquy about killing the electricity in California, during the winds despite it being Thanksgiving.  She was pro no-electricity and offered ideas how millions of Californians could handle the holiday.  

Which then lead into logging, as it does.  It took almost a minute for me to understand that she was now talking about property way above her house that had two new houses which can be seen now that the leaves are gone.

Then she wandered off to talking about another new neighborhood in the community.  She mentioned a family member who used to live there that I didn't realize has a SCHOOL named after her.  I scribbled down "Look up 'Ma Rawley" so I can verify what she said.

It's now been about fifteen minutes, tops, so we're making good time I guess.

Because of all the rain and flooding, she told me about the damage that a landslide did not far from her house.  She's told me this before and I read the news, so I kind of mentally wandered off for that part. Until she asked a direct question and I had to scramble to figure out what she just asked.

She asked about our friends in Canada and if they'd been impacted by the flooding in Abbotsford.  It was odd that she remembered all detail that but it was nice that she did.  I explained how they were mostly fine without having to go into great detail.  Because it's a mess up there and there's too much detail to go into with her.

She sequed into Christmas Eve from there.  It sounds like she wants to cancel the "festivities" at her house and just have Christmas Day dinner at my brothers.  The RELIEF that I felt was surprising.  She said she would talk to the boys and let me know.  Now I'm praying to sweet tiny 8 lb. 6 oz. baby jesus that they agree.

Finally, she asked me about getting a flu shot.  I'm allergic to eggs so I can't have one and she asks every year.  Then she shares that she hadn't gotten her Covid booster shot yet because my sister-in-law hasn't scheduled her one.  I counted to five and just let it go. I have enough on my hands with my own family.

Then she sighed and said "It's been twenty minutes and I'm sure you just called to talk for five but that's what you get." then laughs at her own joke. She wished the family Happy Thanksgiving and said "I have to go finish before everyone gets here and I can't do anything."

Call your mother, he said. It's the holidays, he said.  It's what normal people do, he said.