Bracing for Impact

I have the tendency to hold my breath in stressful, emotional or painful situations.  I didn't realize this until someone mentioned it to me years ago. Then I read about how it's a common trait with sing-it-with me-because-I've-mentioned-this-a-lot...traumatic childhoods.

So I tried to become aware of it and stop.  Oxygen = good, seems simple enough.

Kevin caught me the other day when he was taking a splinter out of my finger.  I caught myself a day ago because I was trying to squelch some feels.

This is where I have found that mediation can help. When I catch myself doing it, I can remedy it and refocus. Something as simple as three big breaths can reset your brain and thwart the panic/fight-flight-or freeze instinct.  It doesn't have to be a big process.

I practiced it as a family gathering where I felt myself becoming angry.  I was on the verge of running my mouth but caught myself, walked away, and refocused.  In the long run, it was better but I still wish I'd just unloaded.  Being a grown-up is a bummer sometimes.

Take the situation with SusyLoudPants.  I've practiced refocusing/meditation on the regular while sharing space with her. I wondered one time if she thought I had the asthma or something because I realized that I had breathed/sighed/stretched quite a bit for a normal morning. I realized this would require her to have some awareness so I'm good.

What I'm saying is just focusing on breathing can help more than a person can imagine. It's a baby step. Then a person can focus on another step. like stopping anticipating or awfulizing.  Stop bracing for impact.  Start assuming that it will be fine instead.