With apologies to my Brother's Neighbors

In the theme of no good deed shall go unpunished, I offer this story:

Before going out to my parents the other night I had to stop at Brother Dear's house to pick up tickets for Apie's graduation. They have a dog that has run of the fenced backyard. I thought "I'll be nice and play ball for a minute before I go"

The freaking dog got out. She shoved her way past me and ran down the road. As Kevin says "I'm pretty sure she told you to eff off as she ran."

I followed her down the street, her ball in my hand in effort to coax her back to the house. Yeah, that so wasn't happening.

I called Brother Dear and asked for advice. It seems that the dog takes tours of the neighborhood then returns rather willingly. So I walked the U-shaped road and returned to his house to wait. About a city block in length, kind of like a cul-de-sac. I'm occasionally calling her name and trying to get her to come back to no avail. Finally, I just sat in the truck and muttered...both at myself for losing her and the dog for running.

She did come back and go into her yard without my assistance....about fifteen minutes later. Oh, I didn't mention that it was the hottest day ever, about 89 degrees.

She ran around her yard, noticed her ball that I had frustratedly thrown into the yard, then picked it up as if to say "Hey! Let's play Ball!!!!"

"NO. I. Am. Not. Playing. Ball. You. effing. Dog" I replied. Then followed up with "I apologize to any of the neighbors for the cursing...."

The "best" part? My nieces are never allowed to name a dog Ever Again. Because the dog's name?

COOKIE DOUGH.

Now re-read the story and you'll get the idea of the level of irritation AND embarrassment.