Two of the Funniest Things Said

in the last seven days. One G rated and one R rated...

G-Rated:

My mother-in-law was just prescribed a CPAP machine for sleep apnea. They picked it up today and were telling Kevin about it. Kevin commented that it wasn't doing any good sitting in the box next to her chair.

"Well, we have to get stuff for it then we'll set it up" she says.
"Yeah, it needs Holy Water" my father-in-law says.

He was sincere. He meant distilled water, bless his heart.
If it were MY Dad, he would have meant Holy Water.

R-rated:

Last weekend we were racing. We stopped at Starbucks to get iced mochas (aka: the will to live)

Kevin jumps up into the truck with both mochas. He hands me one and says:

"I had them put one less pump in yours. Because I know you like that."

DUDE! Really?

My sister-in-law was in the backseat and missed it completely. I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face.

Welcome to my life....