18 December 2019

Five Gold Rings

With apologies for a) putting that song in your head and 2) to Swistle for continuing to rant on this topic.

This all started on Saturday when Kevin came in the house and casually says- and I quote: "Well, sister-in-law told mom she wants her ring..."  

It took me a second to react when he said it.  Like in the movies when your ears ring and everything slows down.  "Um, WUT?"  He explained that I would receive the original wedding ring and S-i-l would have the one she wears now.
"Okay...well, that's nice.  It's HORRIFYING that she already dibbed the ring though."
"Yeah...." he replied quietly.  He just doesn't have the energy for this right now. I let it go, for now.

BUT OMG.  I'm so ANNOYED ON SO MANY LEVELS.  I need charts and graphs.  I walked away and whipped out my phone to text Swistle in outrage and frustration.  W.t.a.f.

Apparently, she types in dripping sarcasm, there was a conversation somewhere along the way where my s-i-l called dibs on my mother-in-law's wedding ring after she passes.  I don't know how this conversation began and I don't know that it would help if I did.

Okay. *deep breath* She has known her longer and they are closer.  I get that.  Clearly they have had a discussion and that couldn't have been easy.  There, there's my extended grace.

Some background information: his dad replaced her original wedding ring years ago with a big diamond one. That's the one that has been dibbed.  If I remember correctly, the original ring has a small diamond and is a similar cut to mine.  On a sentimental scale, the original is more valuable.  They will have been married 62 years next week.


S-I-L did this when we closed the Moody House.  She wanted the kitchen chairs and the couch and...and...and...it was a THING. This was over ten years now so I'd kind of forgotten about it. I guess it's good to be reminded now when we can process than when everyone is up in their feelings.

It's not the ring. I honestly don't care about the ring.  It's a lovely gesture on my mother-in-law's behalf to give the "daughters" her wedding rings.  It's the entitlement, the assumption, the nerve of the request.  

And then...

His mom wondered if I would wear her ring in lieu of MINE.  Clearly, she's not in her right mind.  I told Kevin that I would not; which was more important to him than I would have guessed, he's not a sentimental guy at all.  But that I would wear it on another hand/finger.

Lastly, let's acknowledge that his mom is making preparations.  This is what I call happy/sad.  Sad that it's happening and happy that she is thinking about it and making plans, instead of leaving it to us.  AND CLEARLY that needs to be done.

1 comment:

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