The facebook Is Broken

I've mentioned a few times in my posts/rants about Kevin's mom saying that "Facebook is broken"
Here's what I mean when I say that.

Years ago she wanted a computer.  We were super skeptical about her being able to manage something like that and voiced our concerns.  She said that she wanted it so she can see what we saw on the facebook.  She was feeling left out because every time we said "We saw on facebook that..." she had no idea what we were talking about.

Because, to her, it was some magical place where there are photos and conversations and happiness all around. (hahahahah NO)

So for Christmas the f-i-l gave her a tablet, a really expensive tablet.  A good compromise for sure.  And surprisingly she mostly took to it easily. 

I am the IT person for all.the.compound.  All of this now landed on my lap.  Luckily I had a heads up so I had already created an email account and a facebook account for her.   Woo, she thought this was some next level Wizardry, I'm telling you. 

We taught her how to read her email and respond.  For about five minutes that lasted.  There are just too many steps for her poor brain to process.

She can play games on there and became a master at Candy Crush.  If you've been reading a while, you will remember that she was playing candy crush mere feet away from the delivery of Sweet Baby into this world.  (she was becoming agitated and it focuses her) 

But with that, she also randomly installs other games because she doesn't understand the concept of pop-up ads.  We have no financial information tied into anything so there is no risk of her spending hundreds of dollars on game tokens.  Although if anyone can manage it, it would be her.

Then she'll randomly  mention that her computer isn't working very well. (translation: it's slow)   I'll look and she'll have ten games installed and ALL of them playing in the background.  She, of course, DID NOT do that and she will die on that hill, thank you very much.

Sometimes she will say that her tablet is broken.  She usually saves this nugget of information for, like, 8:00 at night when we're settled in for the night.  I mean, I know, they're steps away but STILL.  They talk to Kevin multiple times a day and it never comes up.

I'm trying to make this the short version and I can only come up with a list:
We pay for their internet.  They have their own wi-fi unit.
The Brother hooked her up to his internet because Verizon was having issues. (and control issues, but whatevs)
It was worse.
I disconnected it.
It reconnects/gets reconnected/I don't know WTAF
I reconnect to their unit and MAGIC.
(hughesnet won't let you uninstall, in case you're wondering)

This will often prompt me to also uninstall all.the.games.that.ever.were. and close all the internet tabs that she has open because reasons.  She says she only goes on the facebook and her games so I have yet to figure out how the internet is opened.  OneTHOUSANDTIMES.  Again, she didn't DO IT and that is all we have to say about that.

Which brings us to the original statement: the facebook is broken.

Every once in a while she will mention that facebook doesn't work.  "What doesn't work?" we'll ask while squinting and sighing.  Often the response is "I can only see my pictures"

She goes on her profile because she likes looking at the photos she has.  Except two things: she doesn't go to the albums, she just scrolls her profile.  Then she forgets she's on her own profile and gets annoyed that she doesn't see anything else.

Which brings us to her news feed.  Every once in a while she will mention that she's not seeing anything and this time it's not because she's stuck on her own profile.  It's much worse. 

Kind of like the no conception of pop-up ads, she will click on all.the.things. Then I have to go Unlike stuff like Cute Cats from Norway or How to Save Money Using Your Mind or Bikers for Small Dogs.  She has liked topics that I can't even know how she FOUND them. 

Or WORSE: she'll randomly friend people.  She friended one of our drag racing friends from Canada. (bless his heart, he accepted)  A random guy in the midwest.  A woman that she "thought looked like a friend of mine"  This terrifies me but I can only control so much.

I have to go through her friend list and unfriend people or hide people (from the family usually) that post things that would upset her. 

Then while I'm deep-diving on her facebook, I will hide certain  topics and  "news" sources.  She is not always able to understand...or discern...whether something is true or even possible of being true.  Her sister-in-law is a Commander BabyFingers supporter and loves his propaganda machine so I have to be diligent to not let that stuff leak through. 

Because she will FRET.  She will think that something is true and worry about it.  Then she'll tell us and we have to walk it back and find where she got the idea.  It's really a shame that it's happening and that folks of her demographic are being taken advantage of. BUT that's a different topic.

Finally, notifications.  At any given time, you can look at her facebook and see that she has no less than tens of notifications.  She never clicks on them, despite us explaining it endlessly AND writing it down. 

Then she'll mention that someone didn't answer her or she hasn't heard from someone.  We'll tell her to look at her notifications and This Is Brand New Information to her.  *sigh*  And sure enough: there will be responses, comments, tags waiting for her in facebook notification purgatory. 

For awhile she could manage the messaging app but I think even that has faded.  She gets texting and messaging mixed up pretty easily.

Oh! AND...

She has the big tablet that is expensive.  She managed to disable the touch screen and I have NO IDEA how.  But she uses a stylist so not a big deal. 
Then she wanted a smaller one to carry with her.  So they got a note.  She handles this one pretty well.
AND THEN, she wanted a smart phone.  Like a pre-teen she wished for a smart phone.  We were firm: No.  Too many devices, too hard to manage, we just bought her a new flip phone that wasn't paid for yet.

AND THE BROTHER bought her one because they "upgraded their plan". 

And guess who got to set it up?  Yep: ME.  SUPER.

As predicted, it's been a goat rodeo.  *I* can't keep track of three devices and now she's trying to.  So we suggested to maybe just have one device to simplify the whole thing.  Well, no, because:
"I use this one until the battery is dead, then I switch to the other one while it charges." etc.

*head*desk*head*desk*

To be fair, she is chair-bound mostly but OMG, all the same.

You know that meme about not being irritated with your mom while teaching her computers, because she taught you how to use a spoon?  Yeah, EFF THAT.  It is not remotely on the same level.  I think we weren't blessed with kids because the universe knew we'd be raising parents. 

Because the facebook is broken...