19 January 2021

Five Shirts

 I'm on my fifth shirt today and it's only 11:00 am.  And I'm supposed to be leaving for work right now.

I'm certain that I'm not the only human who is unsettled right now.  I can't concentrate.  I can only sit here and wish it is 24 hours from now.  24 hours from now and the long national nightmare will be over.

But what's with the five shirts?

A.D.D. and related sensory processing disorder can manifest in weird ways.  Stress also can manifest in weird ways.  Let's begin at the beginning:

I have to go to work today.  It's cold out today.  This presents two dressing challenges: I have to look like a grownup and I have to be warm.

First shirt was a fleece pullover that I used to love.  Somewhere over the last year, I've become Meh over it.  I don't know why.  Because: reasons.

The second shirt, which was only a consideration, was a Nordic style sweater.   It was probably going to be too warm and I only wear it during the holidays.  (welcome to my brain)

The third shirt, is a flannel tunic that I wore to Kevin's staff Christmas Party.  It bothered me today. It lasted a minute.

The fourth shirt I actually wore for a bit while working at my desk.  It's a red paisley tunic that I actually love.  But when I was getting ready, I needed another layer.  Off went that shirt.

Now I'm on my fifth shirt, which is actually long enough to be considered a dress.  It's too big.  But I really like it so I wear it here at home usually.  It doesn't look terrible with a simple black hoodie and the black pea coat that I wear in the winter.

We are not talking about how my socks don't match my shirt.  Or how the seam of the sock is crooked and making my brain flip into DANGER DANGER mode.  Yes, I am aware that I can change socks but that feels ridiculous.

I KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT SOUNDS.

The point of this is to acknowledge that most of us feel unsettled right now.  That us neuro-divergent folks are a special kind of crazy right now probably.  Or maybe it's all of us and I'm not special.  Well...define "special" I guess.  Again: we are all in this right now.  We are all feeling a little crazy right now.

Maybe change your shirt.  It might help. 

1 comment:

Swistle said...

I AM SO UNSETTLED TODAY

My feet are freezing. FREEZING. I could fix that. Somehow I have not fixed that. It's been all day.

I missed a meal. I hope you know this about me by now: I am not someone who forgets to eat.

Several times today I have looked for a word and been completely unable to find it.

I have to take Edward into the city tomorrow for a medical thing, and have been almost unable to reconcile that there is A SECOND THING happening tomorrow, and that I need to set my alarm and pack a lunch and so forth.

ONE. MORE. SLEEP.