Happy Halloween

I am not a huge Halloween fan. It's just not my thing. I don't usually dress up even when I worked with children.

Years ago, there used to be a haunted forest in my hometown. It was in a city park and was a trail that wound through the trees. The line was literally hours long but we went anyway. I had friends that helped set up the whole thing.

As you stood waiting, you could hear the screams & shrieks of people as they went through. Then to add to the ambiance, they also played one of those spooky sounds albums over loudspeakers.

Luckily for me, this was before Blair Witch Project. If it were after BWP, there would be no chance in hell that I would walk through it.

Anyway, it was Kevin and I and "W" before he met & married "D". There were plenty of smart ass remarks and sarcasm bantered back and forth while we waited.

Now, I'm not really scared or spooked easily but they really worked on the whole atmosphere in this setting. Dark, woods, scary noises, the adrenaline of everyone feeding off one another.

We begin walking through. It begins with mostly visual stuff, nothing terrible. But as you get deeper into the Forest, it gets darker and the path isn't as clear. You're literally kind of stumbling along.

Now some genius (I mean that sincerely) thought of using an actual chain saw. They took off the chain so there was no danger but the SOUND. Creepy!!!!

Then they use strobe lights which are, of course, disorienting. My vision doesn't compensate for strobe lights so at this point I was dependent upon Kevin. Nice. A trust exercise.

We're nearly to the end and there is zombies wandering in the woods. You can see them but they're not really near you or anything.

AND THEN...

A man comes out of the woods, slightly behind me. He approaches me and takes my arm.
I hear "Come with me" in a quiet voice.

All I could think of was:

"THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH YOU!!! THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH YOU!!!"

Just as I was getting ready to freak the hell out, the guy literally fell on the ground laughing.

It was my friend Brad. You've heard of Brad...the late night booty caller, the blind date setter-upper. Yeah, if he wasn't such a great guy, I would so hate him.

Kevin wasn't in on the plan so he got IMMENSE ENJOYMENT.

And I think that's the last haunted house/Halloween thing we did. Gee, I wonder why?