Pissing in my Cheerios

I went to lunch with my BFF D Friday. We discussed my dilemma with my co-worker and how I was feeling thwarted at every level. In her D like way, she said (I'm para-phrasing)
"You know what? She's pissing in your cheerios."

In D language that means she's bullying me. She's trying to control me.
It was as if D had turned on a lamp in my head. It all made sense. I went back to work and mentioned it to another co-worker who has known her longer than J or me. She confirmed the Pissing in My Cheerios diagnosis.

((another example I can give you of things said:
I wear Kevin's watch. It's soothing to me and I can see the dial easier than my own watches. She commented that I was wearing it. Then she followed up with "Well, I guess you do have large wrists."
I AM FIVE FOOT THREE.
The dial completely covers my wrist .

AND...while I'm on a rant...
I returned, triumphant from my lunch with D, and the coworker had kind of done one of my tasks: sorting the mail. Not brain surgery. But she didn't finish it. And she commented on it: "I did this but I didn't finish. I didn't know if/when you were coming back."
I said "Before I left I said I would be back in an hour. It's been an hour and a half." She muttered something non-committal and walked away. She just had to make the point that I was gone and had returned late.))

Now, just for the sake of clarification, I have one boss: the ED (exec. director) It's a five person staff and while all of us are dependent upon each other, we're independent in our duties. So, I can literally say "You're not the boss of me."

Here's what D and I came up with:
She may feel insecure because I'm capable. The people that came before me were not good at the job. How this is possible, I can't even guess but there it is. So, if a person plays it out to the logical conclusion: she was able to control, manipulate and supervise these less skilled people.

And now there's me. Over-qualified, opinionated, blunt. I get along with my coworkers and most of the clients. While I'm not perfect, I'm okay. And I don't care. I don't care if people like me, I don't care if I get into trouble, I just don't care. Maybe it's the past four years, maybe it's the big upcoming birthday, I don't know. I just don't care.

So now what? After discussion and consideration over Chinese food, D came to the conclusion that I am going to have to bloody her nose. Not literally but figuratively. It's going to take a stand and a stand in front of others to get her to stop. As we have regular staff meetings, I think this can be resolved in a reasonable manner. I think it may take multiple attempts.

As we all know, from ABC After-School Specials, the Brady Bunch and Our Gang, etc. bullies don't like being stood up to. That's what I have to do.

Now that I know what the problem is, I'm golden. I can move forward. I feel So. Much. Better.

Don't you just love that about BFF's? The clarification they can provide. It's invaluable, really.

*MUAH* to my BFF D for helping me see it and helping me through it.

Stay tuned.