01 February 2010

Hit the Road, Jack

One of Kevin's cousins is going through an ugly divorce. Really, ugly, nasty divorce. It's been frustrating to sit on the sidelines of this and watch it unfold.

Her husband half-assed tried to commit suicide and landed in the hospital for the regular 72-hour hold. One week later he tried again and was nearly successful. Unfortunately. The family was a little disappointed that he wasn't successful. (step back from the monitor to avoid forthcoming lightning strikes) The only good thing is he woke up stating that he would do it again so they're keeping him indefinitely.

The frustrating part is that the cousin keeps going back. Visiting in the hospital, taking sh*t from his family, etc. then calling the family in tears. The family has stated their opinions quite clearly: you have a PROTECTION ORDER, stop going to the hospital, call the lawyer then get yourself out of town before he kills you & your daughter." But it all pings off of her as if she's wearing Wonder Woman's deflection bracelets.

Finally Kevin, myself, and the b-i-l said "She's not going to listen. She's not going to do what she should so we give. We'll just wait to hear how it turns out. And hopefully it won't be a headline about a murder/suicide."

I just don't get it. I don't get the whole "But I love him, Oprah" thing. He threatened you & your child's life, he trashed your house multiple times, he left shovels in the driveway in a grave-digging scenario. Tell me again: what is it that you're gaining from this? Because I don't understand.

One of her sisters (who doesn't live here) called it the Drama Train. She just can't get off it.

My divorce was fairly ugly so I think I have some perspective. Hello, permanent restraining order and advice to get out of town. I was stupidly stubborn and didn't leave. I was also incredibly lucky. The restraining order was enough, sort of, to get him to go away. But not before he stole my car, put himself in rehab to get my attention (that nearly landed him in the psych ward) and harassed all my friends and anyone he perceived as a threat.

However, if he hadn't of disappeared, you can bet I would have packed my stuff and left. I had an escape plan a la "Sleeping with the Enemy". I know that if Kev ever lost his mind like that, I would be all "Peace out" and living near my BFF in New England under an assumed name.

So, the moral of this story is this: Get off the Drama Train & Hit the Road, Jack. Abuse will never get better, it is never your fault and it's not your job to fix him. Enough said.

1 comment:

creative kerfuffle said...

thankfully i have never been in this situation. part of me can see putting up w/ the shit when it's just you that's dealing w/ it, but, when you have kids and they are in harm's way? you don't screw w/ that in any way. you get the hell out. THAT is what i don't understand. i do not understand women that linger around those situations when they have kids.