"You're searching...
For things that don't exist; I mean beginnings.
Ends and beginnings - there are no such things.
There are only middles."
~Robert Frost, Mountain Interval, "In the Home Stretch"
I have had plenty of time to think, ponder, and remember over the past two weeks. Funny how illness can clarify things. This morning, Kevin sat on the side of the bed to wake me up. He never does that. He's usually cheery and rambunctious while somehow being non-confrontational. This morning was different. He knows I don't feel well. He knows I haven't felt well in a long time. It's starting to concern him, as well as me. It's starting to feel like this illness is never going to end.
His perching on the side of the bed made it even more clear to me. My dear, goofy, husband is concerned. The never-gonna-get-me-down guy is worried. He is where I was six years ago when he was ill. It is a sucky place to be.
2000-2010 was not kind of us. We have had more than our fair share of heartaches. Many times we found ourselves just looking toward the heavens and shouting "Really?" ever so sarcastically.
However, it's been a good year for us. Things have been (*knock wood* other than this godforsaken illness) going smoothly. Loose ends are tied. Unresolved issues have been, if not resolved, then dealt with. Life has moved on. Life has improved.
Something else will come along, for certain. Something difficult, or sad, or unexpected. It's all a part of this thing we call Life. I've just realized that there are not endings or beginnings. Like Mr Frost said: "There are only middles."
2 comments:
ah sweetie, poor kevin. i wish i had a magic healing wand i could wave and turn things around. you are right though--there are only middles. but, middles are better than ends sometimes.
Oh, that is such a sweet image.
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