06 September 2019

Dream Realized. Then I Broke A Lamp

Monday was the New Term in-service day for my job.  I realized that this is my third one already.  I still vividly remember my first one because it was so awkward. I didn't know a SOUL yet everyone knew me because my position was new and widely welcomed.  It was very strange and disconcerting, like those dreams where you show up nakey at school.

Now I know most everyone and don't feel like the odd man out. My position is permanent and I'm no longer the "new one." I can't believe this is my third school term already.

While I was daydreaming (because: meeting)  I was thinking of the movie Under the Tuscan Sun. Like you do.

The very end of the movie (spoiler alert) the friend points out to the protagonist that she had received everything she wished for, just not in the form that she had imagined.  She had a family and a home, there was a wedding, and she had seemingly found her happy-ever-after.

That day I found myself sitting at a table with friends, comfortable in my space, and mostly content.  As this occurred to me, I was thought about my mindset when I stopped working a few years ago.  What did I wish for then?

I wanted a permanent job that I could work until I am done working.  A federal/state agency is the place to do that.  (check)

I wanted a low-key job that wasn't stressful. (check)

I wanted a quiet workspace, didn't care if it was the size of a closet.  It took two school terms but I have it.

I wanted a drama-free zone and mostly have it.  I mean, I still work with humans so there is always going to be some form of drama but these folks are about as easy as anyone is going to get. And this is not considering SusyLoudPants, who is ALSO moving to another office, in another building. Thank you tiny little sweet 8 lb 6 oz baby jesus.

So, I got my wish.  Not in the way that I imagined it or on the timeline I hoped for.  But I got it.

I am moved into my new office now and it is wonderful and not closet sized.  It's already mostly settled and decorated because I use my issues for good.  My favorite coworkers are still nearby and I am without a supervisor for this term.

This morning I helped conduct interviews so that was a bigger responsibility.  Yesterday I was the IT person for setting up work spaces.  Finally this quiet little job is starting to look more like originally advertised.

And then I broke a lamp.

I hate, hate, hate overhead lighting.  So lamps were one of the first things that I addressed.  I went to the wally world because I didn't want to mess with the second hand stores.  I found two lamps on sale and returned to my office.

This is where I tell you that I keep forgetting that the truck has leather seats.  You can probably predict what happened.  I opened the door and in slow (but not surprising) motion, one of the lamps fell onto the asphalt.  It shattered, rendering it useless.  Well done, me.  I scooped it into the bag, took the surviving lamp into my office, then returned to doing interviews.

My stubbornness kicked in somewhere along the way so I went back to the wally wrold, bough the LAST remaining lamp of  that style.  I very gingerly put it into the truck then very gingerly carried into my office. Then I hooked them both up and tried to continue my day.

This is where it occurred to me that I could maybe still use the lamp.  I went back out to the truck and retrieved the broken pieces.  It made me grateful that my A.D.D. brain hadn't thrown it in the dumpster.  Instead A.D.D thought it was a good idea to put a plastic bag full of broken glass on the floor.

But I thought about it and did walk over to the dumpster. Originally just to toss the broken glass but there were still shards protruding from the base.  This is where I tell you that I had just told my friend about a company in Seattle where you can pay to BREAK THINGS.  And how much that I really, really want to do that.

Well, on a smaller scale: mission accomplished.  I took the lamp and bashed it on the edge of the dumpster until the shards fell away.  Now it was safe.  I took it inside and tucked it behind the monitor where it still functions, if not a little ugly.

This is where it gets funny, to me.  Exhibit A:

Because of the lack of shade, the plant suddenly is menacing
(it's not as bad, in real)

See? with the shades it's lovely and not at all a horror show.
And yes, A.D.D. thought that leaving the chair in the way was a great idea.
Moral of the story is that leather seats are challenging, gravity exists, and perseverance is a good thing.  And breaking things can be fun.

1 comment:

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