I was the kid who read everything. Cereal boxes, directions, phone book. It didn't matter what it was, I read it. For a while I struggled with reading when I was very young - which is remarkable to think about now - and I had early intervention. Once that was solved (I know that's not the right word but it so works in my brain so I'm leaving it) then I was unstoppable. Read.all.the.things.
It comes as no surprise that the other day I read a recipe on the back of a salsa jar. Of course I did. And of course there are recipes on salsa jars. Duh. (did you know that? because I didn't...does this mean there are recipes, like, on all the boxes and jars? It's a whole new world, if so.)
Anyway...
Kevin loves those breakfast burritos at mcdonalds. I just...can't. I think it's a texture thing. And in my head it's a mental block, like fish tacos. It's like food cognitive dissonance, I just can't.
The recipe was for breakfast burritos, strangely. Now I acknowledge that such a recipe isn't rocket science. If I really thought about it, I could probably have figured it out. But I hadn't thought about it because yuck.
On the flip side, I have a need to know how things work, how things are made. If you know me in reals, you know that the wheels in my brain are always spinning. And that I ask a lot of questions.
About a week later, I mentioned the recipe discovery to Kevin. He is a particular eater so I wasn't sure of his reaction to the idea that maybe (and heavy on the maybe) I could make the loved breakfast burritos. To my surprise, he was into it. I had anticipated a "Let's just leave it to the professionals" response.
Yesterday was the day to try, it turns out. He was home, I was at a low level of distraction. Let's do this. Then I couldn't remember where I read the recipe. So I just winged it.
AGAIN: not a cooker. Not a hard recipe. Chance of success: Probably.
Six eggs, mix in salsa and onion and pepper, scramble.
I put in three big spoonfuls of salsa. Because more salsa is good, right?
What's that unpleasant color between orange and pink? It turned that color. Now *I'm* out. Nope, looks weird. I'm done. I almost don't want to finish. Just put it in the trash and claim an accident happened. In my life, this is completely PLAUSIBLE and would be accepted on its face.
But I persevere and now I'm hurrying to assemble these dumb burritos before he comes in. Because I knew the visual could spin him out too.
I laid out the tortilla...flour, not corn and my brain is all "Corn might be better" BASED ON ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I have no skills, my brain is just making arbitrary suggestions at this point.
Added cheese. Because: CHEESE.
Then I realized it had to be warmed. And I don't have a way to keep it together.
Kevin, who has joined the adventure at this point, helpfully suggests tape. Even I know that's not a good idea.
I remembered that there were toothpicks in the china cupboard in an antique gravy boat. Because of course they are.
Reassembled the burrito, put it in the microwave for a handful of seconds, gave it to Kevin and waited.
"First off: too hot." Well, easily remedied.
"Secondly...and I can't believe I'm saying this: too much cheese."
"No such thing. That's blasphemy." I reply.
"Otherwise" he chews thoughtfully "They're not gross." This, in my world, is praise.
Steeling myself against the uninviting color of the egg/salsa, I made one for myself.
First off: Kevin is wrong. Perfect amount of cheese.
Second: Meh. It was okay. My initial decision about breakfast burritos remains correct: No thanks.
I will make them for him again but I'll probably pass. It's just a no from me, dawg. It's a texture thing. The uninviting color is just too much. And I don't want to waste the once a month that I can eat eggs on burritos.
However, SHINY SIDE: it's one more thing that I can make. So, that's a win. For Kevin.
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