Have You Called Your Mother?

I was explaining to my Bff the other day that I don't phone my mother very often.  When I do, it's mostly me listening anyway.  There is a running joke in the fam of how long each call lasts.  It usually clocks just under an hour each time.  There is usually very little said on my end of the conversation.  And I always, always, ALWAYS come away from it exhausted and annoyed.

Anyway...apparently rambling is genetic. 

The other day Kevin asked if I had talked to my mom since she was hospitalized.  Wait...did I tell you that story?  Short version: she was hospitalized for a few hours with a stomach virus that had gotten out of control.  She told my niece not to tell anyone (neat.) but my surrogate brother had already phoned to say that he was on the way to the house with the ambulance.  It's a small town. Nice try, mother.

I hadn't talked to her since that happened as the Niece was keeping us updated and implied that she just wanted left alone.  Kevin is always the one to prompt me to call.  He appears impervious to the sigh, eye-roll, foot-stomping that accompanies these prompts.

Yesterday was her birthday.  My initial impulse was to send flowers. Then I realized we live in the end times and that wasn't a thing. Then I got wrapped up into a project and absolutely forgot until Kevin returned home from work and it was 6:30.  Sigh.

I've mentioned that she is in the beginnings of dementia but says she's not.  I may not have mentioned that you can usually tell by the way she answers the phone whether or not it's going to be a pleasant conversation or if I want to drink afterward.

And...drink it is.

She told me that she's feeling better and that the Niece and fiance had visited on Sunday and they had dinner.  Wait...they what now?  I just let it go.  She waxes on about how great Niece and Fiance are (they really are) and the implication is "as opposed to the other children/grandchildren."

Then she said that she wanted to go into town but wasn't up for it yet.  YEAH.  "I know, I'm supposed to stay home because of this virus going around."

Let me say it again:  "Because of this virus going around."

I started with the "No, you need to stay home" but I sensed a shift in the ether and stopped.  She told me that Fiance told her she could go for a drive, just to get out.  That is different than going into town so...

Now we segue into how she doesn't like our governor and/or the California governor.  I stopped her and said the ever popular "We need to agree to disagree on this" so that she would stop.  She then states that "It's not a Democrat or a Republican thing."  Like that's EXACTLY what it is, but do go on.

Then she infers that the Stay Home order was not done on the state level but the federal level and how everyone needs to get back to work. 

How's your head?  Can I get you an aspirin?

I steered out of that one but she continued.  "It's a shame about that choir. They're the reason the numbers are so high here."  The choir made the national news because they chose to rehearse when it was only a request for everyone to socially distance and nearly all of them became ill.

And that statement isn't accurate.  Now, I've suspected she has been watching Faux News.  This pretty much confirmed it. 

Kevin is now sitting in his chair, waiting for me to finish so we can watch television and relax.  He must have noticed my blood pressure building because he began to distract me with a question about my project outside and something on the television.  It broke her concentration just enough but not enough to finish the conversation.

Know that my mom has zero idea where I work or what I do.  This has been the case for years. She can tell you what the brothers and nieces do but not me.  She has it in her head that I work for "The College".  Last night's question was "Do you go to all the events?"

Ummm...what now? 

Instead I say that staff is invited to "all.the.things" but I've yet to go because we have our hands full at home.  This pings off of her completely.

Then I just went quiet.  Any fight left me.  I mentioned that I needed to finish washing dishes and she says...."You don't wash dishes, you put them in the dishwasher."  Thanks, mom, this is brand new information.

And this, my friends, is why Kevin has to tell me to call my mother.