I have been pretty okay with this whole thing. This is an adventure, this is a challenge, I can do this, I told myself. Until yesterday. Yesterday was My Day to Lose It.
The governor extended the Stay Home Stay Healthy order, as expected. What wasn't expected is that it was extended for One Month. One month. Which also means that I am furloughed for an additional week and one day. At least.
I know, I know. It's for the greater good. It's not that big of an ask, really, to stay home And, and AND I am very incredibly lucky that this hasn't devastated our family.
That is exactly the point though.
I can be cognizant and grateful that it could be worse.
I can also be upset and moody. I am the definition of cognitive dissonance right now.
I can be both things.
It's not a like I'm any sort of a social butterfly. It's not like I am missing out on super great activities and opportunities, other than the ability to go anywhere other than work or the grocery store.
Kevin doesn't quite understand. (wait for it) He says he'd welcome the opportunity to be home long enough to be bored. It's because he hasn't been. He's worked full time since he was sixteen and rarely takes vacations. That is Be Careful What You Wish For territory, pal.
But I pointed out to him that I can still be upset. I can be both things.
I hate not seeing my friends, I hate not being on a normal schedule, I hate that the grocery store is such an ORDEAL right now. I hate that the parental burden is increased now. I hate that I can't just go take photos and that I actually Broke the Law the other day by taking this photo:
So, Cognitive dissonance. The shiny side: I'm still working. There is still social media. There are still tasks on my to-do list. I am not without. At the very worse, I am inconvenienced. I am rebel enough to go out of my way to breathe and take photos.
I can be both.
Finally, this was on the twitter the other day and it gave me solace. I just read it aloud to Kevin, who is on the struggle bus today.