Sunday Morning Wake Up Call

 On the weekends I sleep in.  During the work week, I send Kevin out the door at 5:20 am then usually nap for a little while because it's dark now.  But on the weekends, regardless of season, I sleep in. Every weekend, he takes the puppy to get us coffee while I get ready for the day. 

Kevin will usually make sure I'm awake by ten o'clock so that I don't "waste the day" get my clock turned around.   Because he still gets up at ohgawd-thirty, sometimes he'll come back and nap with me.  

So, yesterday my phone rings.   I laid there and ignored it until Kevin said "It's your phone."  I resentfully rolled over and picked it up.  It's my mother-in-law. A few things: a) If Kevin is home, she usually phones him. 2) It's early for her.  (it's early for me) c) It's also the time of her med schedule where she's the most high.  Super. 

"Were you sleeping?"  Every.Single.Time.

This time, even though I was, I said no,  She laughed and says "Well, I just never know with the two of you."  Umm...wut?  Kevin could hear the conversation and laughed - a little embarrassed - and left the room.  I fibbed again, said no, and asked what's up.  

"Well..." she hesitates..."Umm, well, I don't even know what I'm going to say." 

At this point, I've gone to the dark place.  Did my f-i-l die? Is the ambulance on the way? What.is.happening.

"Are you going into town today?"  Okay, not what I was expecting...

I told her that I hadn't planned on ANYTHING yet and "What do you need and I'll go get it."

She hesitates...

Finally, she says "Well, I need Depends..."

Before she can even finish her sentence, I'm all "Done. I'll go into town in a few minutes. NO  problem." 

Of course, she fusses.  "I'm done talking about this. It's done." I tell her.  Fussing continues.  "I'm hanging up now, we're done talking about this."  She finally laughs, clearly embarrassed, and disconnects.  I'm not snarky about it but firm.  She needs something and I'm not going to tell her no or make her feel like she's an inconvenience.

So I got into the shower and Kevin went to get us coffee.  It now makes sense why she called me, specifically.  

Once Kevin returns, he checks in next door and asks if it's a hurry thing or what.  *facepalm*  KEVIN. I think he realized his judgement error pretty quickly though.  

While I was drying my hair, she phoned again and I missed it.  I phoned her back.  More fussing: "I realize you have to go INTO the store so..."

DEEP BREATH.

"I said that it's done, you're not to worry about it.  I have a mask, I have plan. Don't.Worry.About.It."  

"Well...okay...I just don't want..."

I interrupted her "What did I say? We're done talking about this. I'm leaving in just a few minutes."

The plan was to go into the only grocery store that I actually go into.  Especially on a Saturday morning.  So, I did and they didn't have the brand she uses.  I phoned her to make sure I could grab the other brand without causing her issues.  "That's fine...but they have to be a size bigger..."

This is me, now turning around in the middle of the store to change sizes.  Then there's me finding that they don't have that size.  In any brand, other than the store brand. FML.  But I'm persevering.  This task is non-negotiable.   Out of the store I go and over to Kroger.  #NoGoodDeedGoesUnpunished

I parked in the back, where it's significantly less busy.  They were out of her preferred brand because OF COURSE THEY WERE.  This gave me a nudge to buy extra though.  I grabbed three packs, leaving one on the shelf. I one-hundred-percent felt guilty doing that but there wasn't a limit on purchases.  I just don't want this type of emergency again.

Kevin asked if I was embarrassed and I said no.  I mean, it did feel weird having it in my cart but my ego isn't that fragile.  I did use self checkout because: no people and thus there were no witnesses, lol. So it's all conjecture, really. However, if I had run into an ex or a rival, then I would probably feel compelled to say something.  My ego isn't impervious.

I returned home and Kevin asked if I wanted him to take those over.  I swear he has the memory of a goldfish.  "Kev, I think she'd rather die than have her son deliver diapers to her."  "Oh" he blanched "Yeah, that's right."  Ummm YEAH.

I went over and nonchalantly set them on the table then immediately backed outside. (the table is next to the door, they live in tiny home)  They wanted to know how much money they owed me.  I said no and they balked, as they always do.  I reminded them that my f-i-l took the garbage the other day and Kevin is heating the shop with their propane so we're even.  They thought about that and I slid the door shut, leaving them thinking.

Because it didn't occur to me how expensive they are. I mean, I noticed, but I didn't think about the cost per use (why is there 17 in a pack? WHY?) or how quickly it gets expensive when you buy three packs.  So when a coupon printed, I took it when normally I would throw it in recycling.  This now also cues me to add a pack of diapers to MY shopping list so we don't have to do this again.

But it also made me think: where in the world of Where's Waldo is my sister-in-law?  Did my m-i-l only phone me?  I mean, that's fine.  But did the s-i-l say that she wasn't going into town? (this is totally plausible) AND, while we're pondering, why didn't my father-in-law go to town?  He has for other significantly less important things, why not this?  

AND, AND, AND, they haven't done a grocery order recently so what.is.happening?