Operation Eradicate Ivy = Complete

Remember I said that I had ideas for the garden?  I'm pleased to say that they are done.  It is extremely helpful to have a husband who has access to any kind of materials you might want. Even if he is a little skeptical.  The smoke from the West Coast wildfires arrived yesterday, adding a little panic to getting this project finished.

So, where do I begin?  The IVY.

We have mostly eradicated the ivy.  I still see little signs here and there but it's where I don't care if it grows again. Unfortunately, we had to use the weed killer that is bad for humans and the environment.  Nothing else was having any effect on the ivy, other than annoyance.  

Then I had to remove the dead ivy, which was super fun.  *shaking my head*  The reason the ivy was allowed to grow in that area was that it covered a not easily accessible, steep part of the hill.  So even with my newly built stairs and rock cascade to balance on, it was a challenge. For the part on the right side, I climbed up the hill, sat on my bum, then slid on said bum to the bottom of the hill when I was finished.  

Ivy taking over everything

Dead ivy and bonus Lucy

Now, I had four pots of perennial plants that were along the house.  It was a struggle to get anything to grow there because the heat would reflect off of the house onto the plants. And, if we're being honest: watering plants isn't high on my list.  Also, Kevin didn't like them there because it felt like clutter to him.   (he's cute, that's why I keep him around)

Two of these plants were lavender.  I have a big lavender bush in the rock garden that makes the bees very content.  Kevin remarked on them and it clicked in my head that I should plant them instead of having them in pots.  But I'm out of space in the garden.  Like, seriously, out of space. The other two plants were supposed to cascade out of their pots but never really achieved that goal.  

My original plan was to plant what GiGi suggested but then the End Times came and I didn't want to go to the nursery.  So, I decided to use what I had.  A novel idea, I know.  With the theory that in proper homes, these plants will now cascade down.

The bank is clay so anything I plant has to be hardy. I know these plants have survived my neglect so we should be good. Also, this is where Kevin comes in: he brought topsoil and compost to help facilitate the success of anything planted. The bank is also held up/in by ferns.  Sadly, it's the time of year that the ferns are beginning to die but they are staying. When they're healthy, they're beautiful.  I also uncovered a hydrangea that I had transplanted and forgotten about. Now that it's uncovered from the ivy, it will grow next season, theoretically.  

Excuse the dying ferns and dead leaves. Fall arrived unexpectedly

I'm mostly satisfied how this turned out.  I'm waiting to see what the winter weather does.  It's possible that a good rain or snow will bring the compost/soil down into the yard. Kevin says it won't but what does he know? He's just a landscape materials expert.  

I messaged a photo to my BFF and they said "Almost done!"  It stalled me for a minute then I looked at it through their eyes.  That's where having rocks border this section came to be.  It did look unfinished.  I don't have a photo of it because when I use the snapchat, I forget to take a real photo too.  By adding the rocks, it will keep the grass away and hopefully be a little barrier to the weather. I might still add a few around the border, I haven't decided yet.

Okay, that was a lot just for that part of the garden.  Let's talk about 1,000 lbs. of rock.

It took almost 1,800 lbs of rock to do the original cascade.  Then Kevin brought another 500 lbs. to do the ivy section and to help fill in gaps.  He was a little surprised when I asked for MORE.  "Are you SURE?" he asked.  "I don't have time to help you" he said.  (he's in the middle of a big project now that the house is done)  Yep, I am ready.

Thursday night he brought home 1,000 lbs. of rock.  The smoke was already settling in but he got home late so I couldn't start until the next morning.  At 8:00 am, I was out there with a wheelbarrow and stubbornness; racing the incoming smoke. Luckily, my plan was for the cascade to not be as wide as the original one so the work went remarkably fast.

Two and a half hours later and I was done.  Kevin phoned twice to make sure I was still alive, had all my fingers, and remembered to go inside before I died.  Lucy sat in the truck the entire time, waiting to go get treats at the coffee stand.  I have a weird support system.

Much like the first time I did this kind of cascade, I started at the bottom.  Stacking rocks as they saw fit and sort of planning my way.  Mostly, I try to let the ground tell me where things should go.  I've had this vision in my head for YEARS so I was really hoping it would turn out as imagined.

Then I had to back up the truck to the top of the hill.  This part was more tricky than the first cascade because I had to unload in the road, walk through a gate and a few steps more, then place/bowl the rocks down the hill.  Like before, this part of the hill is unaccessible.

Like before, I made backstop of larger rocks about midway and had mild success.  The top is too steep to crawl down so I did the best I could, knowing that I would have to climb up to re-arrange later.  I took no photos because I was so focused on getting done before I needed my inhaler.  Know that there were rocks in the yard below, rocks in places I didn't intend, and a bit of cursing.

During

Before.  

Wonky angles, I know.  I wish that I had documented more but you get the idea. In the before photo, the dead parts are from the eradication of the dreaded buttercups.  In the during photo, I had started the cascade but not finished the ivy replacement part. 

First photo was beginning of smoke, other two are in the midst of it.

It turned out mostly like I'd hoped.  The plan was to go trim the dead ferns and weeds but the smoke is making that impossible.  It will also look better when we have the landscaper weedwhack one last time before winter.

Imagine the ferns growing along the top then the cascade wending it's way down through grass, ferns, and allowed dandelions.  (because bees are more important than grass)  I'm also wondering about solar lights/fairy lights along that cascade.  We'll see.

Mostly I like how it transitions from structured English garden, to less structured, to wild.  That was my vision/hope.  

Panorama made the deck rail look wonky

View from the deck, featuring our current smoke monster 

I'm super happy that this is done before the Fall rains arrived, otherwise it would have been MudFest 2020.  It should be nice enough for a while that the grass  and some of the ferns will regrow before the first freeze.  

If the ivy returns after all of this work, then I concede defeat.  

An Update from the I.T. Department

You will notice as you read that I had A LOT of coffee when I wrote this.  Sorry/Not Sorry. 

 Hey, guess what? The internet was broken again today.  What's funny about this is that this morning I thought to myself "The internet hasn't been broken for a while"  Then fast forward hours and voila! my mother-in-law phones.  Magic.

Allow me some nerdery for one moment:  Because of where we live, we can only have wireless hotspots.  Because they're not intended for home use, per se, the connection can get wonky; especially if the network is busy.   

We've tried other wireless providers but because of where we live, the same issue exists. They  share the same towers and/or tower locations so don't believe the hype.  We've tried satellite internet and it was worse, if that's possible.  Cable, etc. internet is not available because of banjoland.  

Now, here's another thing to know: After a certain amount of internet (trying to keep the nerdery down) is used, the internet is throttled. (slowed)  This can be infuriating when you need internet and can't get it.  I mean, it's slower than dial-up and reminds me of my shortcomings on the regular.  

School began last week and the internet was almost useless.  I couldn't work because my work computer requires more than smoke signals from the interwebs.  Out of desperation, I searched for internet providers near me.  (Do y'all know that trick? On your phone: search place or thing "near me" and it will give you results within like a 25 mile radius)  

Anyway...

Everything is done online these days and I don't hate it.  I checked two providers and got a no from both.  Then I tried another company and they said yes.  Hmmm.  Seems unlikely but I scheduled an appointment.  

I told Kevin that the site says we have service here and he was equally as skeptical.  For one, his brother says that he checked everywhere (he didn't) about a year ago.  "Well, that was a year ago..." was the only nice response in my possession.  

But still, I kept my hopes to a minimum.  I'm not a looking forward to something person anyway because I've just had too much life experience.  This kind of hurts Kevin's feelings but there's not much I can do.

The tech was Hours late.  Of course, they give you the "Between 8-Noon" window that everyone loves. I had to actually call out of work, which is weird during the End Times.  At 11:30 am, I phoned the company to make sure it was still a thing.  Again: I am a hope for the best, plan for the worst, keep my expectations low, kinda girl. 

The service rep was LOVELY.  It feels like that doesn't happen often so I felt a tiny glimmer of hope.

Two hours later, the tech got here.  Totally apologetic and helpful.  And all techs are teenagers now. Or is that just me? lolsigh.

He was skeptical about us having service here because of WHERE WE LIVE (ugh) and because it's DSL.  This is dying/dead technology almost as it comes into our house via phone lines.  I had to explain that we hadn't had landlines since 2006 and he laughed "Most people don't".

I used one of Kevin's tricks and asked him "What would YOU do?"  He stalled, "I've never been asked that question before."  I know, that's why it's a great question. (Thank you, Kev.)   He said because it's not MY time being wasted (it's his and he's "Being paid anyway.") and there's no obligation, give it a try.  So I did.

He had to drive a mile and a half to the closest junction to wire it to our house.  This is where I'm thinking "And there it is: the glitch."  Also, I figured he would be here until dark but it actually didn't take very long.  He also came into the house, set up everything and was gone pretty quickly.

Because I'm a nerd, I'm immediately trying all.the.things.  I sent a short video to Kevin of Hamilton playing on my work computer.  "So it works!" he says after immediately calling me.  Just that tiny thing of having Hamilton play on my computer was everything.

Still, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I connected the satellite and it was "Meh, I'll think about it."  I connected the tablets and they, too, were "Meh." Now I'm feeling vindicated in my skepticism.  Then my laptop worked fine so now I was puzzled.  

Somewhere along the way, I realized that it had to be hard-wired.  If I connect via wifi then it's not great.  If I connect via an ethernet cable, then I'm in business.  

It's like a Whole New World.  We could never stream or download television and now we CAN.  It takes a fifty-foot ethernet cable strung across the house but it WORKS so my care level is sub-terrainian.  Oh, and I can continue to work from home but whatever.  I can stream movies.

Back to the internet is broken part.  This is longer than I anticipated. 

Just a reminder that the parents cell phones and internet is on our account.  It's out of my pocket when something goes wrong and I am the IT Department.  Now I have a dilemma. I've solved our internet issues AND I'm still keeping the hotspots until I know FOR REAL that this is going to work. After I know For Real, then I will pare down our internet account so I'm not paying for the cell phone company's Turks & Caicos vacations.

I mentioned to Kevin that I wasn't going to switch the parents because too much hassle.  I have to choose my battles these days.  Kevin balked a tiny bit and I accquiesced: If it turns out the best thing ever then I'll consider it.  It's $45 monthly for DSL versus only $25 monthly for their internet. But the possibility of the internet not being broken again is enticing.  

Then I remembered someone here on the bloggity mentioned that maybe a landline phone isn't a terrible idea for the parents.  It's up for discussion again because we're hearing "She doesn't answer her phone" more and more.  The issue being: one more technological thing to teach them and we would still have to pay for their cell phones. 

Okay, where was I?  Oh, the internet is broken.

My mother-in-law phoned to tell me the internet is broken.  I'd been working all day so I told her I'd be over there in a little while.  An hour and some deep breathing exercises later, I went over.  I masked up because I had just been to my office and we saw the kids this weekend.  She is 100% surprised that a) I masked up and 2) that I went to work.  (she'll regularly ask Kevin "But you showered, you can come in?")

First she said that it hasn't been working for a few days.  When I sternly mentioned for the eleventieth time that she needs to let us know, she amended it to it just started.  "But you just said it has been a few days".  At this point my father-in-law heads outside.  I don't blame him.   Oh and CNN is still on SHOUT.

She counters with "But sometimes I don't realize that it's not working!"  To which, I repeated "But you just said that it's been a few days."  Then I regained my sanity and stopped talking.

I took everything into the shop and fixed her internet.  It was just slow because all.of.the.reasons. However, she does use a truckload of data.  In this instance, she has tapped out all of her data and it doesn't replenish until Monday.  She has her tablet on constantly and usually it's games playing, even if she's not paying attention.  Essentially, she's a pacman of data.  We cannot get her to grasp the whole "Turn it off when you aren't using it" thing.  It's like raising teenagers, for real though.

When you reach a data cap, this is what the teenager at the phone store told me: To circumvent the system, buy a separate SID card and switch it out when the data limit is reached.  GENIUS.  He said that gamers do this all the time so then I felt a little cool. (not really)  Instead of a $35 one-time boost, it's a $20 charge that renews each month if you use it.

With the change of internet provider, I now have spare SID cards.  I switched hers out and declared it "fixed."  Because there is zero way to tell her that she's exceeding her limits without there being some sort of melodrama.  "I'll pay for it"  "I won't play my games" or the chestnut: "It wasn't me who used all the data."  I did remind her that the internet will just be slow now for a while.

Meanwhile, I didn't tell her that I noticed she personal messaged a realtor in Maryland.  Because no, she didn't. The realtor had not responded so that's good.  She had also friended her grand-daughter's best friend's teenaged son.  I'll be undoing that tomorrow.  And her daughter-in-law's (not me) crackhead brother.  (I literally call him "Crackhead Bob."  

Oh, and look, this is what her social media looks like every single time I log into it:

                                                

Let's sum up:

Keep trying with different providers in your area if you live in banjoland like I do.  Things do change.

Buy extra SID cards if you have data-limits on your device

If your wi-fi is not great, use an ethernet cable instead. (they come in 50 ft. lengths)

Mask up. Yes, even if you just showered.

This is me when I'm over-caffeinated. 

Two Outta Three

One of the things to know about me is that I tend to go head-long into things without thinking them through or fully paying attention.  This makes me super fun to live with, for sure.

This week though, man.  Consequences of my own in-attention.  

It was a busy week; full of work, projects, and errands.  I haven't had one of those kinds for weeks for a while so it was fun but a little dizzying at the same time.  

So, the other day I was going into the grocery store.  Hurrying, not paying attention, and tripped on my own feet.  Only I could trip on my own feet.  Down I go onto the sidewalk.  Bounced right back up like nothing happened and proceeded into the store.  Thank you adrenaline.  Also, if you don't look: you're not hurt.  (remember this in a minute)

First off, when I broke my foot off my leg, they taught me in physical therapy not to use my broken leg/foot to catch myself if I ever fell. This is intended for me not to rebreak anything.  Yeah, that didn't stick in my brain.  (it's all good, no need for worry)  I'm thankful that it didn't because I ended up with just a skinned elbow and a scratched phone case.  It coulda/shoulda been a little worse.

But it's still not great:

I feel silly because who falls anymore?  ME.  I look like a six-year-old with skinned elbows and/or bandaids on my arm.  One doesn't realize how much you use an elbow until you take the skin off of it.

Now fast forward ONE DAY.  Just one.  Remember I said that I had ideas about the garden?  Well, I started on it and it required more 4-8 rock like I used before.  I finished one section then decided to begin the other part of the project.

This was the day that I had to work here at home, go into the office, run errands and take Lucy for walkies.  This is where I say again that I might not have been paying attention.

I wear these really great gloves that were given to us that are thin but grippy.  The problem with being my size is that gloves are always too big for me.  I was wearing gloves though.  I was trying to be safe.

A particularly big rock was being placed on the path I'm making when it shifted.  I felt it go and pulled my hand back just in time for my glove to catch between the rocks and thusly my finger.  

At first I thought "Well, that didn't feel good but it could have been worse..." and began to work again. But a few minutes later, I thought...."Is that...blood?"  So I reluctantly took off the glove.  Like Kevin said "Nothing is more scary than taking off your glove because you think there's blood."  Yeah buddy.

There wasn't blood.  Well, there was, just not outside of my skin.  My finger had immediately swollen, blackened, and bruised.  Go figure.

Like a little kid, I was fine until I saw that I was actually hurt.  Then I got a little mad because that is the correct response for this situation.*shaking my head*  *hello trauma response*    I went into the house, grabbed an ice-pack and sat down with my hand above my head for fifteen minutes.  And pouted.

Oooh boy did it swell up.  The skin was super tight and I thought I was going to have to call Kevin.  But I kept flexing my hand, took an ibuprofen, and went back to work.  Like you do. 

By the end of the day, it looked like this:

It's sore but not broken. I think the bruise is going to be there for a while and the fate of the fingernail remains uncertain.  It's darker today.  (the black on the other fingernail is paint. I only hit the one finger)

My elbow is actually the thing that hurts worse.  Go figure.

I believe that things come in threes.  I've had this proven to me too many times to discount.  I'm on number two so I'm waiting for number three.  I'm out of rock for now so not to worry. I was going to finish paint the tool shed today but it feels like that should maybe wait.

Stop and Listen

Sweet Baby was here for a visit yesterday.  His dad was helping next door with a project and his mom had the new puppy with her so it was a really good visit all around.  A much needed respite in these End Times.

He's nearly five (GASP) and pretty independent.  His parents are of the free-range mindset so I wasn't surprised when he wandered over to our house, twice, by himself.  

*It really occurs to me with this post that I can't continue calling him Sweet Baby.  I will call him Five because he is number five in naming succession. (As in John Anthony Smith the Fifth.)  That was his original prenatal nickname anyway*

The first time I heard him coming because there is nothing quiet about an almost five-year-old boy.  I called out "Is that Five!?!"  

"It's me!  I'm here!  Where are you Auntie Surely?"

I was painting the tool shed and I put everything down to go spend time with him. I knew the paint would be ruined when I returned but I was ready to be done anyway.  And, you don't say no to an almost five-year-old when they want to see you. 

We walked next door to see the puppy, he got his bike to ride, and we all had a small visit.  Then he headed off to see his other (great) grandpa with his mom and grandma.

Almost two hours later, I am now working in the garden.  Kevin was next door and I hear footsteps in the gravel.  "Auntie Surely! Where. Are. You!?!" I called out to him and he came around the house to find me in the garden.  

Tens of questions later and after crawling on the rocks, he sits down on the lawn.  He calls Lucy over to him and she came.  She is not a fan of children so this is unusual. (not a mean bone in her body, just not interested in the ear and tail pulling stage)  

"Come down and sit with me" Five says.

"Let me finish this one thing" I reply as I'm wrestling a five-gallon bucket of mulch.  

"Come down and sit with me" he repeats, a slight tone of impatience/want.  Not whining because he knows that doesn't work but a genuine want of me to stop what I was doing and sit with him.

Something in my head clicked and said "You don't pass this up. He won't be Almost Five for long."

I made my way down and sat with him in the grass.  I expected that he would spring back up and want to play because Almost Five.  He didn't.  He indeed wanted to talk and pet Lucy, who tolerated it.

I'm a little amazed at this point because he's old enough to have a conversation with but young enough that they're usually fleeting.  But he's in so I'm in.

At one point, he just plainly asked "Where is your dad?"  

He's never met my dad as he passed in 2009, almost seven years prior to his birth. I never talk about him.  It's been almost two years since he went swimming at my parents house. There really was no connection at all.  It also wasn't in context with anything we were talking about.  We had been talking about bugs.  "Callerpallers" to be exact.  

I stalled because that's always a tough one to answer to children.  The kids (his parents) have a direct approach with these things so I followed their lead.  "He's not here, he died"

This was followed with "How did he die" and "Why?"  I explained that he got very sick and sometimes that happens, especially when you are old.  He took that on face value, paused, "Oh." and thought about it.  Then we talked about other things until he was ready to go.

So, here's the thing.  The anniversary of my dad's death was Wednesday. It passed with barely a notice from me and none from my family.  Kevin and I have made jokes about my dad "hanging around" the house in the past and now  I'm wondering if he made a visit yesterday.  

Five seems to be an old soul who would notice these things.

My point is Listen.  Stop and Listen when they ask you to.  These moments are fleeting.

I'm sad this is blurry but happy that I can use it here because it's blurry

Cooking For Dummies - Lasagna Edition

 If you've read here for a while or know me in real life, you know that I am not a cooker.  Like, super not a cooker.  It's never been a skill I've enjoyed so I've never cultivated it.  I'm 100% better than when I was young, of course, and we eat pretty healthy for two people who eat like six-year-olds.

One of my "goals" this year of The End Times was to try to learn new meals.  I've met that with mild success. I can make enchiladas, mexican casserole, and chicken parmesana without - to quote Kevin - "screwing it up".  Before you get impressed, let me tell you the recipes are the Cooking for Dummies versions. I am winning no contests.

Along with that goal, I subscribed to a few emails to help achieve it.  One of the most recent emails contained a slow cooker lasagna recipe.  Hmmm, I thought.  We like lasagna.  Slow cooker works for August-so-not-using-the-oven-cooking.  So I bought the ingredients in the next grocery order.

Three weeks later and today is the day. Apparently.

The thing with the slow cooker is that it requires Time Management.  As discussed previously, I don't have that.  Also, it requires stopping what I'm doing mid-day to think about dinner and I'm not down for that.

My best friend likes to ask me "What's for dinner?"  which is one of my least favorite questions. They are also the cook in their family and they also don't enjoy that question so it's in solidarity. Also, Kevin asks it when he phones to tell me he's on his way home.  For both of these people, the answer is usually unsurprisingly"I don't know."  Unless it's Tuesday, then it's Tacos. Duh.

Anyway, off topic.

I had to work today in my actual office so I pre-planned to try to make the lasagna recipe today. (whew, that was passive voice all.over.the.place.)

NOTHING STRESSES ME OUT MORE than learning how to cook something new.  NOTHING.  Parent hospitalizations, burying Lucy's kills, Current Political Situation. Nothing.  I hate it.  Gah. I employed my Calm the Eff Down tactics and made myself just do it.

I brought up the recipe on my phone. I don't know why I didn't use my laptop.  I just didn't.  It would have been easier but here we are.

I put all the ingredients on the counter.  I got out the slow cooker.  Yes, I have one, calm down. It was a wedding gift, but I have one.

Took a deep breath and began to assemble ingredients.  I spun out a little from Go, because I needed a mixing bowl and didn't have one.  

Sorry, another side story: I had the PERFECT mixing bowl when I was married to Satan.  I used it for everything.  Popcorn, mixing, everything.  And my impulsive/angry dumb ass Left It Behind.  I have never found another one like it.  So: no large mixing bowl.  Again: I don't cook and I super don't bake.

Wait, I googled it. It was like this, sorta:

(I should probably buy it now...)

I made do with just a little bit of a mess.  I hate messes so that added to the angst of this experiment.

And then: I realized that I didn't have enough mozzarella cheese.  I would swear that I bought some but nope.  Luckily....prepare to laugh...I had extra Mexican cheese.  So, the final layer had Mexican -style shredded cheese.  I am nothing but multicultural.  What could possibly go wrong?  Cheese is cheese. More cheese the merrier.  Okay, I'll stop now.

All in all, it is an easy recipe.  It's just not easy when I'm all up in my head trying to learn something new.  It's now slow cooking on the counter and I am prepared to go buy burgers at the tavern if it's a miserable failure.  

Oh, and I'm cutting it close for it being ready at "dinner time" because (see above) I can't manage my time well. AND Kevin just phoned to let me know that he might be home early; which NEVER HAPPENS EVER.

I will say that the oven-ready/no boil lasagna noodles are just disconcerting.  It's like little plastic sheets.  I had to suspend my disbelief that they were real and just go with it.

Now, we wait.  We'll see how the "easy" slow cooker lasagna hybrid turns out.  I have no predictions.

*singing the Jeopardy song*

The house smells good so I've got that going for me.  I looked under the lid because we are at hour three out of 3.5-4.5 hours.  It looks...soupy.  I'm wondering if more noodles were needed but I FOLLOWED THE DAMN DIRECTIONS.  

The directions also said that it would be ready in that time frame but the comments said it would be ready earlier so we're playing the cooked/overcooked lottery.  This is a familiar game to me.

*More jeopardy song*

Kevin came home and asked the dreaded what's for dinner question.  "I made lasagna" I answered but he was already distracted with the racecar and only replied a non-committal "Oh."

Finally it was dinner time. Kevin helped set the table, which is unusual and actually matches with the way things are going today.  I set the pot on the table and sighed.  "Let's see how this turned out."

Kevin looks at the pot skeptically.  "Wait. Did you MAKE this?"  "No" he continues, answering his own question before continuing "Yes? Did you...did you... make this?" he says incredulously.  "You little badass" he says when I confirm that I did indeed make this.  (he has an odd complimentary style, you get used to it)

Lifting the lid, it does still appear soupy.  But it smells good.  I begin to cut into it and it seems...okay.  I dished up Kevin and myself and sat down.  Unusually, Kev is waiting for me to take the first bite.  "You promised burgers if it's not good."  I'm not sure if he's rooting for success or failure at this point.

I took a bite and surprisingly, it was GOOD.  Kevin took a bite and...

"OMG" he exclaims  "This is really EFFING GOOD.  You didn't f&%k it up! It's really good!"

He takes another bite and confirms his first opinion.  "It's like my NEW FAVORITE THING. OMG."

Despite the Mexican style shredded cheese substitution and the confirmed fact that more noodles are needed than suggested in the recipe, this was a big success.  WHEW.  

To quote one of my friends: We Can Do Hard Things. Even if hard things are defined as making lasagna.

(if you're interested, this is the recipe: Slow Cooker Lasagna)

First Day of School

Okay, so.  Start Up is when my work begins the "term year".  Think of it as when teachers go back to school a month before the actual first day of school.  Start Up is usually the second week of August.  Time is irrelevant now but that was two weeks ago.  Technically, I am two weeks into the new school year.

The zippy twist is there is no "school" until January 4th, 2021.  There is no direct service with families until then.  However, MY requirements remain the same. Mostly.  (for those of you who forgot/don't know: I ensure that birth-to-five year old kiddos have current well-child and dental exams, current immunizations, and lead screening. And other stuff.)

If we remember way back at the beginning of the End Times that I had to work no less than fifteen minutes and no more than two hours.  At Home.  I know, it's a very unreasonable demand.  

Now because Start Up, I can work as much as my caseload requires/allows.  It has the potential to be more than two hours but not sustainably so.  On the regular, my caseload is just under 400 kids and working with five advocates from different parts of the program.

This year, however, my caseload is about half of that. At first I was all Thank you sweet tiny 8lb 6 oz baby jesus.  Then I realized: then what am I going to be doing with all the "free" time?  

The answer is something and nothing.  I can only work as my caseload allows so I have to manage my time accordingly.  The fun part of that is the A.D.D. is not so much down with time management.  In my brain: it's an all or nothing proposal.    For example: I have a file full of documents to process.  My brain is yelling at me that they're just SITTING THERE.  However, I'm tapped out of time for today.  Still, my brain is all "Helllooo...file. Sitting there. Needing stuff. Do it. DO IT."

What I didn't see coming is now I'm required to have Office Hours.  I have to be in my (empty) office for up to two hours weekly; to be available to advocates and staff.  The ones who are ALSO working from home. Sooo...yeah.  This is well-planned.

Today was the first day.  There was a manager and a teacher there, neither of whom needed me.  I spent the morning catching up with the manager and decorating my empty office.  I'm sure that as we progress, people will be around but that was just a waste of time.  Other than I finally have stuff on the walls of my office, (it only took one year).   

I had mentioned the transition back to peopling being a rough one.  Today was better.  I actually looked forward to having a schedule, getting ready, and interacting with people. I wore actual grown-up clothes. This morning had the actual feel of Back to School.  

 Now I'm home and the feeling has worn off. I'm ready to be back in my cozy cocoon again. I'm barefoot and in shorts and a t-shirt again. But I'm not exhausted like I was the last time.  I have work to do tomorrow and one day a week that I don't have to worry about time management.

Welcome to the New School Year.  Nothing is as it should be.

Next Time I'm Writing the Check

 About this time yesterday, we were officially done painting the exterior of our house.  It was estimated that it would take about one weekend, if we worked straight through.  Anyone who knows us knows that is simply not gonna happen.  And it didn't.

It took two weekends, not working straight through, and time over the work week.  It's a small house so we estimate that the prep time may have taken longer than the actual paint time.  Like HVAC when building a house, prep time isn't visible or immediately gratifying however.

So, let's begin at the beginning, shall we?

We were supposed to paint the house last summer and we didn't.  There was just too much going on in the family, work, racecar, and as we remembered this weekend: wildfire smoke.  And just who we are as people has to be noted.  

Then we got a bid from neighbors for just painting the house, we would do the prep work.  $1800.  So after a milli-second of consideration, we agreed we would do it ourselves.  There are just other ways we would rather spend that kind of money.

I powerwashed the entire house over two days, which is so satisfying and gratifying.  It really is one my favorite chores.  This is where I discovered that we could probably get away with painting just the gutters and trim for at least another year.  Kevin said that wasn't an option though.

There is a spec house that we both really like the paint palette...paint scheme...paint job?  I took a crappy photo over a year ago so we could replicate it:

It was different enough to make it worth painting but not a huge overall change.  Kevin and I must have gone around one hundred times about painting gutters, the door, which color went where.  I even sent him photos:

One would think that this helped, it did not. I don't know why.  It could be his dyslexia, it could be anxiety. I just know murder was on the table.  It did not pass my notice that the intended trim color was a lovely shade of cappuccino, keeping with our coffee paint scheme.  Oh, and off  topic a bit: everyone called the trim color a different color.  My father-in-law-in-law (not a typo) thought it looks purplish.  My s-i-l called it olive.  Kevin just kept calling it brown.  

One of Kevin's guys is a contractor.  He said to go to Sherwin Williams for paint.  This is where I tell you that Kevin will often get names wrong, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. One never knows which.  He kept calling it Sherwim Phillips, which made me laugh every single time.

(SIDE NOTE:  The habit of purposefully saying names wrong spins out my sister-in-law. She hates it SO MUCH.  There was a restaurant called Johnny Carinos and Kevin called it Jonny Gringo.  Woo boy did she hate that. So then it could never be Johnny Carinos ever again. Anyway...)

So, we decided a color theme. We had most of the prep work done.  Then Kevin had to work on a Saturday because of course.  He suggested that I just go get samples of the above paint card and we'd go from there.  He gave me the can of original paint we had to match, because he thinks of these kinds of things.

I went in the morning, hoping to beat the rush and was rewarded with a young guy who was willing to babysit me.  He agreed that the colors would match, he didn't upsell me on paint or tools or services, and gave me exactly what it would cost.

Oh, and I had already looked for coupons and sales and how much estimated paint we would need so for once I was prepared.

Next thing I know, I am bringing home five gallons of coastal green (I think) and two gallons each of the accent colors.  More paint than we needed but I am a big fan of not having to back into town in the middle of a big project. And paint keeps so we're set when it's time to touch up everything.

I took a photo of the receipt and texted it to Kevin.  Three...two...one...and my phone rings.  "I, uh, thought we were only getting samples today?" with a tinge of fear in his voice.  I laughed because silly boy should really know better than that.  I am one of few who impulsively buys large amounts of custom paint. You're welcome.

"We know what we want, I found it and I bought it.  If I don't, it will be next summer before we paint the house."   "Okay..." replies Captain Skeptical.  

We started with basic colors and trim package, fifteen years ago:

We thought it was cute and charming fifteen years ago.  Now we're all *yawn, boring*

There are 16 shutters on this house.  Nothing will test your patience and perseverance like painting shutters. There may have been tears, definitely cursing and tantruming.  I did those while Kevin was at work so I could just zone out and get it done.  It took three days.  THREE.  And there was still needed touch-up when we hung them. 

Note that Kevin will hate this photo because things are in disarray and unfinished. That is my point.

AND THEN, we have park benches at the end of the house where we park. Kevin mentioned that the darker green might look good on them so I gave them a quick coat.  It did NOT.  So, like, NOT.  This found me on the following Monday at the hardware store buying more paint.  I will save those photos for the end as not to spoil the Big Reveal.

Oh, and hooray for impulsiveness.  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

While Kevin was at work during the week, I worked on the trim.  It required the little ladder so it was mostly okay.  Anything requiring the big ladder was automatically designated as Kevin's.  For those of you keeping track: shutters and most of the trim.  All said and done, about three work-days worth of painting, not chronological.  For me.

Then I started to roll paint the body of the house as far as I could reach; I am five foot, three inches tall.  Dude, it was not even to the halfway part.  I could only reach about one-third of the house.  So much for a good deed.  Kevin was pleased still though because that was one-third that he didn't have to do.  (I took photos but you really can't tell, sadly)

It was mentioned a few times in conversation that my sister-in-law painted their whole house a few summers ago.  Alone.  (because Kevin's brother is a .... piece of work, shall we say)   Their house is over 1,600 square feet and elevated.  Ours is 1,200 at most and not elevated.  She is tougher than I am, for sure. Over the weekend, I told Kevin "You can BET that if it were me, I would mention that on the DAILY.  Remember when I painted the ENTIRE HOUSE by myself?"   

Anyway, Kevin was super appreciative of all the work I did.  Even if I did have to push back (twice) on the whole "While you're home during the day" mindset.  Home doesn't equal free time right now, buddy.

To be fair to Kevin also, his part was super sketch.  He had to use an industrial ladder to reach the peak of three gables and NO THANK YOU. I will take shutters over being fifteen-to-twenty feet in the air for $1,000 Alex.

We work pretty well together too.  It's like the shop remodel was the rehearsal.  I'm glad that it ended up that way, even accidentally.  Not that we'll ever have to do this whole thing again.  Next time I am so writing the big check.  

And now for the big reveal:

Coastal Plain is the body color, Tactile is the trim color and Retreat is the shutter color.

And finally: the bench mistake

Pro Tip: Oil based latex high endurance paint does not easily come off of your skin.  I'm just saying.

At the end of the day, Kevin mused that the shop and tool shed was next.  *record scratch*  Through all of this, it had NOT OCCURRED to me that the outbuildings would also need painted.  Sigh.  Luckily, the exterior of the shop has recently been done so it's "only" four shutters, trim, and drains.  The little shed will take no time at all.  But still. Way to kill the mood, Kev.

And finally, we cannot decide what color to paint the doors. The trim is tan, the dark green would look odd, I think, and certainly not the light green.  I'm leaning toward black because we know I love black.  Right now both doors have screen/storm doors and are white.  The contractor suggested leaving them white due to maintenance and the contrast in color.  Right now: no decision is our decision.

What's next? you might be wondering.  Well, with this project, the garden has been neglected.  Kevin is bringing me topsoil and bark tonight.  He'll bring another load of rocks when I'm ready because I have *ideas*.

In My Bubble

 One of my friends on the social media is a progressive liberal and I watch their posts with interest.  They help me to determine when to be worried about something, when there's something to actually be done, and when something is simply hyperbole.

They are taking the pandemic/quarantine issue really seriously and I've used them for guidance when making decisions.  Wearing masks before it was mandated, self quarantining if they do go on an adventure, etc.  Something they said gave me context with trying to wrap my mind around this situation.

My friend calls this the Germ Bubble.  They allow X amount of people into their germ bubble.  While i would have maybe named it something a little less graphic, I like it.  In my brain it's a visual representation of my interactions.  Kind of like a Venn Diagram, but not.

I see Kevin, his parents, my bff, and only go to the grocery or hardware store.  Oh, and the coffee stand, because: essential.  So, let's say I see On the Regular: four people. If we mix in my workplace: Add two. At the Max: I see ten people if we estimate store interactions.  

Of course, we've gone to the burger place where everything is outdoors.  We've gone to the park.  To me those don't necessarily count as interactions because outside, masked up when appropriate, and social distancing.  It's been WEEKS since I've hugged Nephew and Sweet Baby so that was just a one-off situation.  

So: ten people.  Max.  On average.  (math is hard so feel free to correct my estimations. Seriously)

We have made an effort to keep my bubble small.  Kevin, because he goes to work, has a remarkably larger bubble.  However, his work is predominately outside and working independently.  While he interacts with more people, it's not like he snuggles them.  And like the statement during the AIDS crisis, this rings true: their exposure is your exposure.

We still have not gone into a restaurant.  We've gone twice to one that has outside seating in the marina and to the drive-in.  But I am not comfortable going INTO one yet.  I never would have thought I'd become that cautious but here we are.

It's been almost six months of this.  It feels normal to me now.  It feels odd/scary to me when I see others not quarantining/social distancing.  Or, let me clarify: not doing it as much as I would.  Although there are a few who are apparently pretending that this is all done now.  Which brings me to the family.

Kevin's parents have decided that they can't "live in fear" anymore and want to venture out to the store, etc. (like this hadn't already happened, I suspect)   Kevin was incredibly blunt and told them that if they do, they know the consequence. And that the consequence is if they do get it, they are dying alone in the hospital.  DUDE.  

AND STILL they want to go out.  Sheesh.  Yet, I haven't seen them go anywhere so I wonder if it's ask for forgiveness versus permission.  Or they changed their minds after all.  Who knows.

In my family, the cousins had a campout and invited us.  Sigh.  I guess it was outside so that's good.  But still.  This would be allowing a significant amount of people into the bubble, albeit while being outside

One of the niece's birthdays was this weekend and of course the family wanted to gather.  I was again put into a position of boundaries and decisions with my family.  I'm so frustrated with that whole situation.  It's a group of people who should absolutely KNOW BETTER.  

"Luckily" we had a contractor coming to inspect our house/gutters and he was only available that day.  Also, we're trying to paint the house exterior before the weather changes and/or we lose interest.  We weren't able to go, but it just kicked the whole conversation down the road temporarily.

Anyway, my point being is the visual of a germ bubble helps me keep perspective, yet increases the risk of making me a germaphobe.  Also, that it's easy to lapse into judgement while watching how others are handling this very odd situation.  Finally, that it is really making me look at personal interactions and their worth to me.

Work of course, is a non-starter.  I have little choice there and am incredibly lucky. Kevin is a constant but upon reflection, I've seen his habits change as well.  Seeing my BFF is a compromise but the toll on the mental health aspect is worth the risk.  (and their germ bubble is small) I don't really miss restaurants or shopping.  

Which leaves my family. This pandemic has given me a reason to distance myself and overall I think that's a good thing.  Perhaps when this is all over, my distance will be the normal and not unusual.  

And when this is done, we can change the bubble's name from Germ to something else.  If it wasn't the End Times, I would have a clever alternative but my brain is full.  Open to suggestions!

Don't Make Assumptions

Kevin is the manager at his work.  There are fifteen guys on his crew; plus drivers and other workers who aren't his direct responsibility YET because of their location within the site, he is responsible for.

He has some young men on this crew and this hasn't gone without challenges for him.  It is literally their first big boy job.  They have little experience with being required to be on time, on task, not on their phone.  Also, more difficult to teach sometimes: they need training on what's appropriate for the work environment and what's not.  For instance: what's considered banter and not sass, how grown-ass-men communicate versus a teenager, and problem-solving and personal responsibility when things go wrong.

Also, Kevin had to adjust his approach to communicate with these youngins.  If they called him "Sir", it rubbed him the wrong way and I not-too-gently told him to get over it.  We talked about how it's his job to give them the boundaries and initially help them to navigate them.  (being on time, on task, and such) Also, reminders that they're so young.  I usually say "Oh, he's still a baby." which prods him to remember they're YOUNG.  

One of them calls him Mr. Kevin.  He was a little WTH about that.  I just laughed and said "He was raised in childcare.  He's been trained to refer to adults like that and especially if you don't like being called sir." 

So, there's the backstory.

Carter is eighteen.  This is his first job, let alone his first big boy job.  Everything is new to him.  It's been a struggle as he discovers how to move about in this environment.  Kevin has come home with his hair on fire because Carter did or said something these past few months.  That being said, he is growing into the job.

Kevin phoned about an hour ago and said "Don't jump to conclusions but..."  

I assumed it was going to be about his brother and was pleasantly surprised it wasn't.  INSTEAD, he says:  "How serious is chlamydia?"

Ummm, what now?

Carter came to him to let him know he had to leave a little early for a doctor appointment.  He had received a phone call over the weekend that he had been exposed and needed STD testing. 

There are a lot of layers there. Let's unpack:

Kevin let him know that in the future he didn't need to know the REASON for the doctor appointment.

He then advised him to let his job partner know.  Carter thought he meant to let him know about the STD.  "No" Kevin says "That you're leaving early. No one needs to know about the other thing." (As Kevin is telling me this, I am laughing and yelling "YES!!! Let him know WHY!!!!")

Then Kevin phones me to see how big of a deal this was.  I explained that on a scale, it's not that that big of a deal.  My question was "WHY WASN'T HE SUITED UP?!?!?!"  Kevin laughed uncomfortably and said "I'm not asking him that."  AND, I added, that perhaps he should choose his partners a little more carefully.

It turns out that it did come up again as Kevin let him know that the disease wasn't a big deal like HIV, Herpes or Hepatitis.  He did ask him why he didn't suit up.  His response: "That is a good question."

Sigh.  CARTER.

Kevin advised him none too gently that he needs to every.single.time.  And that they weren't talking about this ever again.  

We're assuming that this is falling under "Other duties as required" on Kevin's job description.

I Can't Hear It

 I haven't talked about the in-laws lately so that means all has been quiet, right?

HahahahhahahahaNOhahahahhahahahahaSigh

In the middle of all the painting, Kevin's mom said that her tablet was broken.  Now, I had a realization while writing that: Everything is always broken.  Not glitchy, not having trouble. Broken.

That day's issue was that she couldn't hear it.  Kevin took point on this initially because that's something he can "fix".  He went over and he was there longer than I anticipated so I walked over to the house.  He was standing on the deck and he had that patient tone that warns people who are not his parents that things are not going well.

Kevin had checked it out and then I made sure it wasn't something weird.  It had sound.  It didn't have a great internet connection so videos were slow to play.  But it wasn't a video she was complaining about.  It wasn't a game, it wasn't the startup sounds.  She couldn't tell us WHAT she couldn't hear. Just that she couldn't hear it.  This is easy to diagnose and fix: "Something's wrong and I can't tell you what."

We gave it back to her (remember that we're doing tech support on their deck while they're inside) and suggested that she just leave it be for a while.  

At that point, she pouted and said "Well, that's my life right now" referring to the tablet being the only thing in her life.  To my surprise, Kevin stopped what he was doing and cocked his head.  I literally thought "uh oh"  "Really?" he says "that's your life? That's such a nice thing to say to your son who is standing right here trying to help you."  She backpedaled but it was too late. Every once in a while I see where his brother gets the manipulation gene. 

Pouting continued so I walked away.  Kevin again suggested that she lock up the tablet because clearly someone was breaking into the house and messing with it.  Because it's Not Her.

About thirty minutes later we are painting.  I heard shuffling but assumed it was my father-in-law because he's doing that lurking thing.  (Did I tell you about that? He'll just suddenly appear, not say anything, just stand there.  Not terrifying AT ALL)

Kevin turns around from the ladder he is standing on and there is his mother.  She had walked out of the house, down the deck, out the gate, around the van, and into the shop. UNATTENDED.  "What.ARE.you.DOING?" he asks with a tinge of panic.

She's holding her tablet.  "It doesn't have sound. Whatever you did didn't fix it."  I watch as Kevin counts to eleventy hundred in his head before responding.  "I thought you were going to put it down. The internet is slow."  

(Sidebar: the internet has been slow here because we live rurally.  Also, this is an easy explanation for her to understand.  So we refer to it often, even if it doesn't apply)

She pouts and repeats that she just can't hear it.  I got down off the ladder and took the tablet.  I stepped outside so I would have a good signal and opened the facebook.  I can hear it.  I started a video and I could hear it.  I started Candy Crush and I could hear it.  "It has sound.  What is it that you can't hear?"

I am dumb. So dumb.  Why did I ask that?

"Maybe you can hear it but I can't hear it."  So I started Candy Crush again because it's the loudest game next to first person player games.  Gesturing at it as it plays, she says "Well, I can hear it NOW but when I go in the house I can't hear it anymore."

....

I glanced at Kevin who suddenly has to go do something that is not deal with his mother.  

"Okay" I say in my best early childhood education tone "Remember when we talked about the internet being slow?"  Yes.  "And we suggest that you just shut if off and leave it alone awhile?"  Yes...but "That doesn't fix it for LATER."

...Holy mother of dog...

"Okay" I tried again "This is my answer: put it away and we'll look at it later.  Maybe the internet will be better later tonight."  She straight up pouted at me, which then flipped that switch in me.  "AND maybe go rest a while, because you seem pretty tired."

I might as well have told a toddler that they needed a nap.  If she could throw herself onto the floor, I think she would have. Kevin, sensing impending doom, reappears.  "Let's go back in the house.  Remember we said to leave the tablet alone for a while so that's what we're going to do."

To my knowledge, the tablet has since magically fixed itself.  I asked Kevin later and he just said "It works now." Okay then.

Now fast forward a few days.  I was hanging out with my BFF at the park.  We were talking when they gestured at my phone.  I had it on silent and didn't notice it ringing.  They saw the display and said "Uh oh."  

Reluctantly I answered because we don't screen calls from the parents ever.  "Hi honey, were you sleeping?"

EVERY MOTHER EFFING TIME she says it.

My bff starts to laugh because they can hear her.

"Well, I wanted to order something on the amazon but I forgot how."

I explained that I wasn't at home right now. "Oh, you're not?" and she laughs.  Then...nothing.  Okay, apparently I'm doing tech support via phone in the middle of a park now.  This is my life.

"You know what you want?"  Yes.

"Did you put it in the cart?" Yes.

"Do you see the cart drawing in the upper right hand corner?"  No.  I have to turn it on again.

Sigh.............We wait for her to get her tablet, turn it on, open Amazon....

"Okay, what do I look at?"  

"You see the drawing of the cart?" Yes.  "Does it have a number in it?" Yes, three.

"Tap on the cart. Did the screen change?"

Suddenly I hear like a timer or phone ringing or something in the background.  She says "Wait a minute" and I hear the phone clatter onto the table.  Then silence.  For like almost two minutes.  Until I finally said "Hello, did you come back?"  

YES SHE HAD AND SHE WAS JUST SITTING THERE SILENTLY

My friend at this point was almost crying laughing.  They have heard the stories but this was a live performance.

"Okay, what does the screen say now?"  You have three items in your cart

"Do you see a yellow box that says Order now or Place your order?"  Yes.  

"Tap that. Did the screen change?"  Long pause...yes.

What does it say?"  Long pause, mumbling.  Oh, it says thank you for placing your order.

"Okay, you did it."   And we eventually hung up.

"OMG" I nearly shouted to my friend "You thought I was exaggerating!"  They laughed a little incredulously and said "No, you weren't."

So, yeah. That's going well.

Re-Entry Challenge

I had to go to work last week to do some actual work.  Usually it's a stop in, drop off/pick up, and I'm gone.  This trip required actual human interaction and thought processing.

I fear for my actual return to adulting/humaning/working.  Not that it is going to happen before the New Year so I've got time to re-acclimate.  But, damn, dude.

My office seemed unfamiliar, I had to remember how to use the copier, how to do My Job.  It felt kind of like my first day of ever doing the job but weirder.  Like when you have that dream where everything is familiar but not quite as it should be.  I guess that's the WHOLE WORLD right now though.

There were only two people in the office that day: the office manager whom I work with on the regular and a case manager but that was more peopling than I am used to anymore.  I usually see...*looking around*...Kevin, and that's it.  Like I've mentioned before: that's a lot of peopling. 

Then there's the whole having to be somewhere on time, which is a challenge on a regular day.  It is said that I live in my own time zone because I operate in -ish.  Also, time has no relevancy right now.  I actually have to tell myself what day it is when I wake up each day.  Now add an expectation.  It's like going back to school after summer break.  

One of the habits I am going to have to break is muttering/talking to myself.  I spend A LOT of time alone now so I talk to Lucy and myself.  Kevin mentioned this the other day, with a tinge of concern and humor.  "I spend A LOT of time alone" I replied.   I guess if I ever do return, I have an office door that I can close then talk to myself all day long.

Masks are required right now and likely will be if we return in late Fall.  Because I have sensory issues, I am curious how this is going to go.  I mean, I wear a mask in stores but that's in minute increments and not hour increments. Maybe I'll like the incognito look.  Although a mask won't hide my eye-rolling.  

And really, all of this is moot until Winter.  Still, I found it interesting what an introvert I had become.  

Music to Paint By

The shop is finally completed.  What we tentatively had figured for a weekend project turned into a four weekend project.  To be fair, we did so much more than we planned, we both have alphabet brains to contend with, and we didn't work all.the.weekends.

That's not the point though.  The point is that Kevin has SiriusXM in his shop.  The channel we agreed on was Classic Rewind.  Our music tastes are different and usually it's not a problem but: four weekends. Music is like the One Thing that our age difference shows. (seven years between us, he's older)

So if you're not familiar with Classic Rewind: it's classic rock from the late 70's-80's, maybe early 90's.  A good portion of the music is basically my life soundtrack.

We used to play the What Band is This? game but again: age difference.  Also, Kevin predominately listens to Country so my breadth of knowledge is slightly more.  He can beat me in Country and some classic rock and I can beat him in all the other music.

Then we stumbled into another game.  I think I started it, I'm not sure now.  

38 Special was playing.  I don't listen to them anymore but they used to be one of my favorites.  I mentioned to Kevin that Satan had ruined this band for me forever.   Kevin's answer was REO Speedwagon. His former wife killed them for him.

Go Your Own Way (Fleetwood Mac) played and Kevin told me about when they moved across state when he was fourteen and how it reminds him how sad he was at the time.  My answer was Patience (GNR) I can't listen to that song unless I'm in a really good place.

Greatest overall Rock band?  AC/DC for Kevin.  I am on the fence.  I mean, overall means you like most of their songs.  The Cars, U2, Def Leppard.  I can't choose.

U2 Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For has to be turned up to eleven.  It's the law.  For Kevin, it's Bad Company Rock and Roll Fantasy.

Kevin doesn't get Bruce Springsteen. I don't get Eric Clapton.  Neither of us are Led Zeppelin fans.  We disagree on the Rolling Stones and The Who.

Free Falling was playing in the car as I left Satan at the old apartment.  Take It On the Run was the song for Kevin's break-up.

Go For A Soda always makes Kevin laugh, it reminds him of his best friend in the whole world.

You Give Love a Bad Name reminds me of my former sister-in-law in a happy way.  

Wait, it's kind of a good story: We had left brunch after Sunday Church and I was driving.  We were the two Outliers in the family because the IDGAF was strong in us.  Sadly, it was a very traditional and strict family. (another story for another day)

I had a little truck with a loud system. It was summer and Bon Jovi was playing.  The song started and she turned it up to the heavens (pun intended) and sang, performed, air-banded to the entire song.  At the end, she turned it down, sighed, and announced "That was better than an orgasm." 

So, you see, the time spent listening to all that music was a bonding experience, a tour through the past, and a test of musical knowledge. 

Look at This Photograph

Leftover from the painting project is an issue.

There is a big collage frame that I'm not going to put back up because the frame is aged and more to the issue: I'm kind of over the photos. The condition of the frame is not the thing but this is: the collage has much older photos of my family and I'm feeling Meh about putting them back up. 

I mean, I get that the point of having a photo wall(s) is to have a visual representation of your life history.

But what if it's not a history you necessarily want to see?  

Because they don't feel like my family.  I can look at the girls or Little Nephew and feel happy.  Seeing photos of my parents or brothers, however, I've realized just makes me anxious or sad.

If we do math, I have been a Jones (not my surname) for almost thirty years.  I have only been a Smith (not my maiden name) for nineteen years, many of which I don't remember and some of which, I don't want to.  I has Satan's surname for less than two years so it doesn't count on a variety of levels.

So, anyway.  Some visual context: the main wall everyone sees has photos of Kevin & I, the fam, racecar, truck, and puppy.  There is a photo of Little Nephew and another of the girls, otherwise my family is not represented on that wall.  

On the opposite wall by my office, there are some photos of my family and other photos like what's on the main wall. A mixture of current-ish and older ones.  I have photos of my grandparents when they were young, because seeing them does make me happy. However, I haven't hung my brother's wedding portrait up yet.  (and I love my sister-in-law) 

You might be wondering: no, my family does not come to our house.  We stopped inviting them to an annual barbecue because they didn't ever come.  I don't have them up for the holidays because our house is tiny and not made for entertaining.  So, it's not like they're going to be here, look at the walls, and notice that they are not represented. 

If I were to channel Marie Kondo, this collage does not spark joy so leave it down.  But then what do I do with it?  Change the photos, and/or have Kevin paint the frame. Or store it in Monica's Closet, or rehang it.  Too many options for my busy brain so here we are.

And then as I was browsing the thousands of photos on my phone (not exaggerating) I realized that I can put our friends photos on the walls. Tah Dah! Problem solved! I like our friends. I have photos of them! They don't make me anxious or sad. 

I am going to pick my favorites (photos...and yeah friends, lol), order prints and put them into the frame instead.  Because they do make me happy and they are good memories.

Painting is just so complicated, who knew?  Lol.

Paint It Black

See, I told you I'd tell you this story.  Sometimes I do actually follow through.

We spent two weekends painting the shop.  I thought it would take a weekend but I was super wrong.  This is not unusual as I historically underestimate how long things actually take.  Also, I did not anticipate that Kevin would have many of the same habits/coping techniques that I would.  It's fun working with someone just like yourself *shaking my head*

First, some details:

It's only a one car garage that has been built by Kevin and his dad, in phases, over thirty years.  It is super nothing fancy.  We did the exterior two summers ago and was way overdue for the interior.

It's never been completed, meaning the walls were never taped and spackled or textured.  Never sealed up at the floor or ceiling.  Never properly trimmed around doors and windows.  The wallboard is tan, not only because it has aged but because when it was installed it was not grey/white like wallboard is now.  

That being said, we still didn't tape, spackle, or any of those kind of words.  We did do a goodly amount of drywall repair with paint this weekend.  And well placed shelving and posters.

It turned out pretty cool, if I do say so myself.  The wall above his workbench still needs finished and Kevin is doing the ceiling because I'm super, extra, not doing it.  Next is the floor, which is under debate; whether to do paint or garage tile.  I have a feeling this will be a while though.  Like another tens of years.  Especially since we were so careful when we started not to drip paint then by the end of the project was all "Oh, it's just a shop floor."

Two side-notes about this project: I told Kevin that I would immediately, without warning, take his brother to the dirt if he commented negatively in any way.  Today was the day and I'm pleased(?) to say that I was the grownup and ignored him.  He chose a random untouched piece of wood trim on the ceiling to ask about. Not the cool paint scheme, not the newly installed trim, the windows. Nope, a random piece of trim on the ceiling.  

AND, I have a bet with Kevin that he has his wife paint his garage the exact same way.  Because he feeds the green-eyed-monster on the regular.  If Kevin does it, he has to do it.

I am not scared of spiders.  Usually I will let them be, unless they are in the house.  If they are in the house, it wavers between catch and release and burial at sea.  Well, we live in the woods and this is an old shop.  Kevin did a good job at keeping spiders at bay but the webs are a whole other topic.  There are now a few that are a permanent part of the wall texture.

There is a heater in the shop that has trim around it.  However, the trim for the floor would not fit under it.  So this resulted in me laying on my belly on the concrete floor and painting underneath.  This was one of those me muttering "No other wife would do this for their husband" moments.  Kevin agreed but then also wondered if he should take a photo "Because isn't that the kind of thing you post on social media?"  He was joking but there was enough seriousness that I hurried to finish.

I learned what it is like to paint with me because Kevin has similar habits.  Clutter spins him out and the need to put things back as soon as possible is great in him.  Or, sometimes he'd get frustrated and things would pile up.  This is where I am triggered and going around throwing things away, putting away tools, etc. just so I could focus.  

At one point, he reached The Frustration Level.  I am very familiar with the level, see Sandy Wall that Remains Unfinished.  I was able to talk him down by explaining that he was just at the This Is Never Getting Finished stage.  He said something like How do you know? And I muttered "Because.I.Have.Painted.The.Entire.Inside.Of.The.House."  He was quiet after that. Hmmm.  

Finally, I have to say that painting with black paint is SO SATISFYING.  I was in my Happy Place for sure.  I was actually thinking of more things that I could paint black.

It's been so long that we can't remember which 

puppy chewed the edge of the door

Notice the ugly ceiling and imagine an ENTIRE
shop like that

Weekend Update, Multiplied by Four

Oh hai.  Did you know time passes?  Sometimes it just gets away from me.  I am alive, everyone is well. Just took a break for a bit. Apologies for any worries.

 So, here's what's happening here:

I don't know that my re-assimilation into real life is going to go well.  I've found myself losing patience more easily when I have to deal with actual people.  (I had a shipping issue and I wasn't more normal amenable self)  Also, we had a contractor and inspector here at the house and I found I was exhausted by all of the people-ing at the end of the day.

For the first time in my ENTIRE life, I did not attend a celebration at my family's house for Independence Day.  Mostly due to the stay home order and because I've been trying to get out of it for a few years now.  It's a much bigger topic than I want to visit in this post so I'm just saying: that happened.

Oh, but my family still gathered.  (Sorry, BFF K, you have to hear this again.)  My brother travels for work, my other brother works in a giant factory, my niece traveled to another state and attended a music festival.  AND...they all went to the mom's for the holiday.  Tiny house, probably about 10-12 people and they were inside because it rained.  Now you understand why I happily skipped it.

Instead, we watched Hamilton; which felt more patriotic actually.  OMG, I loved it just from listening to it hundredity times and now I only love it more.  It was interesting to match what my imagination was to reality.  I picked up more information that only visual can give you, because: of course, which made me love it extra.  I 100% cried at the end, again.  I'm going to watch it again when Kevin's not around, multiple times.  He liked it but I think once was enough for him.  And I can crank it up super high.

GiGi: I already bought the cream colored paint BUT I very MUCH want to know what color you suggest!!! Tell me!!!  I haven't finished in there yet, much to Kevin's dismay.  It's on my to-do list this week (month)  (year.)

I've completed painting the bedroom's "easy" wall, which is the one with two doors.  The only thing left is a huge blank wall that mirrors the living room wall that I painted mocha.  It took over three hours to paint so yeah, there's that.  And the big ladder.  Also, still haven't fixed the sandy wall.  I just can't get motivated for it.  It will probably take only about an hour, I just can't with it.  And I haven't decided if I'm going to repaint it all anyway.

AND Then, we have to paint the exterior of the house.  Kevin thinks we can do it over a weekend and I think that's just, well, ADORABLE.  We were going to have painters do it but they have flaked on us. SO not looking forward to that. 

AND THEN, we spent two weekends painting Kevin's garage.  It has never been truly painted.  We did it once, in a panic (the title of my autobiography, probably)  when we were moving into it when the house was being built.  I will write more about that next.  (No, I will.  I WILL.  Shush)

Update on Rosie.  My genius idea of having her live under our bed didn't work as planned.  It might still work for others, just not us.  Because of the carpet, she had trouble getting home.  She'd push the base around and not go home.  Booo.  So now she lives in the office.  We had to nearly take apart a bookcase to find the #$%@ outlet but it's done now.  I continue to love her though.  Best purchase I've made in quite a while.

Oh, but I have found that she's A.D.D. like me.  I've had to find her a few times because she wanders the house in no discernible pattern.  I take partial blame because I keep moving her home.  One of the best parts is that I got an alert that Rosie was stuck when I was in town. I had to text Kevin to go rescue her.  As she still makes him a little nervous, I got great joy out of it.

We are still in Phase Two her; although there have been warnings of going back down to Phase One.  Masks are required everywhere now, finally.  I've purchased extras for us and the parents.  It's become kind of a hobby now: shopping for masks.   When I washed one of mine, I realized it was 100% cotton so I had to remember if I even still had an iron.  (I did)  The others are polyblend so it wasn't a thing. It felt like just one more thing, though.  

The border remains closed and will probably remain so until the new year.  This has bummed me out more than anything else.  We really miss our friends.  We miss racing too but mostly our friends. It will be nearly two years of not seeing them if the border remains closed into 2021.  

Working from home has slowed down.  July is a scheduled slow month so motivation to come work in the office has disappeared.  And I had not considered how hot it gets in here during the summer, adding to the lack of motivation.  

It appears that I will be doing this for a while though. At least through the Fall and then possibly as long as my contract will allow.  Right now, it's through September 30 (been extended thirty-days) but I'm to expect another extension.

Family...

Well, Kevin's parents decided yesterday that they needed to go to HOME DEPOT.  I know.  Kevin and I both kind of chastised them about WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL making better choices.  They needed a carpet protector so I ordered one on the amazon for them instead.  I suspected that they went to the grocery store the other day and now I'm fairly certain that they did.  Especially since they haven't given me a list for a while.

The point being is that it feels like they're starting to sneak out, like teenagers.  The logic given yesterday was "Well, everyone HAS TO wear a mask!"  Yes, and some still do not because #freedom.  And you're still eighty-years-old and WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT to risk it.  Instead they said "we're just going to go for a drive" and we both know they probably went to Denny's or something ridiculous.  There's only so much we can do.  

Right after I finally got my f-i-l's phone situation settled, their internet tanked.  Of course it did.  After another trip back to town, it was just a battery.  An easy fix, overall, but the last thing I wanted to do after All of That.  Then this morning I got a phone call because the m-i-l's tablet "was black. I can't see it"  THAT'S not disconcerting AT ALL to hear.  

She did not, I repeat: DID NOT, turn down the dimmer on the screen NOR DID SHE turn off the wifi.  Kevin mentioned that "She really should lock up her tablet because clearly it is not safe from the people who break in at night and mess with it."  

So there are the highlights, I think. A little bit of everything and nothing.  

Hope everyone is well and staying safe.