14 January 2009


At midnight last night I finished a book that I found myself absolutely lost in. I'm a pretty good reader, I can read anywhere (racetrack!) and I'm usually able to multi-task a bit when reading but not with this book. It was all or nothing!

My BFF C recommended it to me and I finally ordered it on Amazon while enjoying my snow days. In fact, the snow delayed the delivery by a week thus the losing sleep during the work week instead of being able to leisurely read it on vacation but whatever, I digress.

"Love the One You With" by Emily Griffin is the book that has captured my attention for days.

I think this should be required reading for every woman who is married. Especially any women who wistfully sigh about "What could have been" with former boyfriends/fiances/lovers. It's a story about a woman, newly married, who runs into her former boyfriend on the street and the effects it has on her. (this is a really simplified summary)

We've all dreamt about the day one would run into their ex.
We plan little scenarios:
I'll look great, I'll have
a) my hot new husband next to me or
b) my three beautiful children with me or
c) both.
I'll say the exact right thing that I've been meaning to say for years.
I will feel better.
He will be disappointed that he's not with me anymore and I can go on with my life.
This is what we've planned.

Probably not gonna happen.

It will be when you least expect it, when you look like hell and said kids are screaming or your husband is wearing that torn sweatshirt that you hate but he won't let you throw away and your mind will turn to mush at the very sight of him.

But, if you're lucky, it will happen and it will be a benign conversation and nothing further - good or bad - will transpire.

What this book did was delve into the afterward. The feelings after seeing him, the decisions that a person would have to make regarding telling your husband or friends that you saw him, or deciding whether or not you can be "just friends" with an ex. It also makes you think about or perhaps realize how different relationships look from a distance.

The situation is rife with very personal decisions and I believe that one can only know what they'd do or how they'd react until it happens to them. Memories and feelings, sometimes long forgotten - sometimes no longer recognized, suddenly resurface. Yet they are different people now so theoretically everything has changed.

I've been in those shoes. I made some similar choices and some different choices. Reading the book made me feel better for reading it.

So, go order it now. I've linked it for you, what's stopping you? (:-D

1 comment:

Dynamita said...

Thanks for this recommendation. It's on my list!