You Seem Grumpy

I swear to all the gods that the question "Are you grumpy?" will make me grumpy in less  time than it takes for those words to dissipate into the air.

Clearly, I have had a recent interaction with my in-laws.  Wanna hear about it? Oh, good. I am glad you stopped by.

They have flip phones.  Cheap, sh*tty little flip phones because that's what they wanted. They did not want smart phones.  I just paid off the second one this month.

My m-i-l's phone was the one she managed to put into airplane mode and "can't hear" it ring.  I fixed both of those issues a few weeks ago.

NOW, she can't hear when people talk.  Unfortunately, on many levels, this is true.  It's not loud enough.  FML because I don't want to go buy another dumb flip phone.

Two things:
She has a smart phone but she doesn't use it.  Except for games.  My b-i-l gave it to her without asking anyone what we thought.

She wants one of those Jitterbug phones.  She is convinced that is the Only Phone that will work. Because the television says so.  However, where we live, there might not be adequate reception.  AND, we're back to spending money on a phone that most likely she will deem "not working" in a minute.

I suggested that she try using the smart phone.  I asked her two things: Do you know how to use it? YES.  How often do you actually TALK on the phone? NOT MUCH.  So, barriers are low.  She frowned at me, because again: that's what we do when we don't get our way.

Now, let's talk about groceries.  Because of the pandemic, they are wisely staying home.  I SO NOT WISELY offered to set up a pick up grocery account for them.  Kevin told them that we need a list and their credit card.  About three reminders later, she phones and asks if I need to know the Brands of the things she wanted. "Only if you want me to get what you want. Otherwise, I'm going to choose whatever the best buy is"  She said that was okay.

I meant to screenshot the list and in my state, I forgot.  No brand names except two items:  Blue Lamb dog food...it's Blue Buffalo and Husky garbage bags...which are contractor bags.  Otherwise, it was choose my own adventure.

Oh and 2 gallons of milk...no type of milk
and 2 lbs. of butter. No type or brand.
"Bread"

I phoned my f-i-l for clarification and that was a mistake. Well, he knew 2% milk and brown bread.  The butter was "in a blue box".

Finally, I just gathered up my laptop and walked over there.  Please for the love of god show me what butter you need, I say. Four sticks of butter in a white and gold, regional brand butter.  Close enough.

Okay, that task is finished. Whew.

AND THEN, she says "The internet isn't working."  SIGH....

For how long? I foolishly ask.  "Oh, for a few days."

I tried to explain that she needs to tell us right away. Also, that everyone is home right now so the network is probably slow and overloaded.

"And my facebook isn't working."

gahdogonit

I sat down and trouble-shot the tablets only to determine that they are worn out. They are both a few years old and one of them has a near full memory.  I explained this to them.

"Well, my birthday is coming up so we'll just get one then."  Because just buying a new one is the solution to all of the things lately.

My f-i-l was a little "Wait, what?"

I intervened and said that I would research what could be done and get back to them. "Don't buy anything yet."

Oh, and upon looking at her facebook account, I noticed she friended a stripper and followed a conservative fake news site.   She didn't, mind you, the magical elves of the internet did it.  Add monitoring her facebook to the list of things to do while I'm off work.

AND THEN

She says "Are you grumpy? You seem grumpy? Are you grumpy at us?"

O.F.F.S.

Again, nothing is a flipped switch like being asked Are You Grumpy.  I explained that no, I wasn't.  I will admit that I wasn't jazz hands happy so I may not have seemed "normal."  Well, normal to them.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I am not. Don't put that on me. I'm fine."

"You are too. Don't you think so dear?"

Again, my f-i-l is taken off-guard.  "I'm not getting into it." he says.

I explained that I would look into both her phone and a tablet and left before she could insist any further.  And, I will be picking up toilet paper and kleenex for her at the store because you can't order those items for pickup.

Now, of course the brother-in-law's truck is in our driveway. He's talking to Kevin in the shop so I can only go into the house and be now legit grumpy.  Because if I were to say anything in the presence of the brother, nothing good can happen.

Instead, I sat down with my amazon account and looked at tablets.  After talking with Kevin, we decided to just buy her a new tablet.  WE will buy her a new tablet.  Kevin phoned his dad to make sure it would be okay. "Just DO it. " he said.  He, too, is over this whole thing.

So, that's the grocery part solved.  Mostly.
The tablet part solved, on Friday.
The phone issue will remain unsolved.  We're not buying another flip phone, but I will look into the jitterbug phone tomorrow with little hope of it working out.  The solution will most likely be her learning how to use the smart phone that she already owns.

And, yes, NOW I am grumpy.