It has been well documented that I'm not a cooker. I never really learned beyond 8th grade home-ec and trial and error. I don't enjoy it, I don't have the attention span for it, and I really don't have the talent for it.
It could be said that this issue traces back to lack of parenting. "Didn't your mom cook?" is something I've heard a lot. The answer is yes and she did okay. She's not a great cook. Thanksgiving is usually kind of a sideshow. She puts raisins in her stuffing, that's all I have to say about that.
I do remember that she tried to teach me once. I was doing homework and she insisted that I come learn how to brown hamburger. I did it but made a fuss about it. While I don't recall exactly, I'm certain that my mom sent me away in frustration.
When I was married to Satan, there was a lot of take-out and breakfast for dinner. I could make meatloaf and spaghetti and breakfast. I had to learn more once Kevin and I were together but it was marginally better.
His family is chock full of cooks. Everyone cooks, except Kevin. So, once again we are the outliers. (Hello, both youngest children) Over time, I watched and learned mostly from them. I think Kev and I did a list once and I can make 10 solid things. Solid meaning that I don't usually totally screw it up.
For the longest time there was instructions for take-and-bake pizza on our fridge that Kevin had written as the last step "DO NOT GO INTO THE OTHER ROOM AND DO LAUNDRY." Because: true story. There were smoke alarms.
Kevin calls every night to tell me he's on his way home. Every time he'll ask what's for dinner and I rarely have a good answer. Today he offered to bring home my favorite pizza and I declined because "It's Taco Tuesday and that's like the only meal I look forward to."
"Me too" he wistfully responds.
Then, helpfully, he says "No, wait. Taco salad. I like that. Oh, and mexican car crash."
"So, basically, anything taco related and we're good. All tacos, all the time."
I told him that I had read a recipe that was basically Taco Mac and Cheese. He paused for a minute and said "Actually, that sounds pretty good too." Unfortunately we're not eating pasta right now so he'll have to wait for that.
And that's the other thing: we are avoiding pasta right now. We don't eat red meat. Kevin says he'd like to be a vegetarian "But...vegetables..." So, to be fair to me: not a ton of material to work with. We don't do processed foods because the Grave's disease does.not.enjoy. (fun fact) (oh, Kevin has Grave's Disease. I realized that might not be common knowledge)
I actually just made a list of things I can cook. I broke it down into five categories: tacos, pasta, salmon, chicken, and hamburger. There are also two uncategorized items that we don't have often: fish and chips and what I call "total crap dinner" becuase that's what it is. Mac and cheese, baked beans, hotdogs, a vegetable, and sometimes fries. Total crap dinner.
Kevin once accurately described my cooking as "She keeps us alive" and I had to laugh. It's just so APT. There's nothing glamorous or fancy about our dinners. There is always a vegetable and a fruit so at least it glances in the direction of the daily minimum requirements; even if it doesn't make direct eye contact.
1 comment:
This cracks me up. I realized recently that Mini did not know how to cook rice. I was upset with her, but then realized that it was my fault she did not know how to do kitchen stuff. She could not even use a can opener. She is 15. My kids are eaters. Big time. When they were really little I decided to try to make a 'crap' dinner and served them Chef Boy'R Dee (spelling?). There was anarchy. Where was the real dinner? Why did it taste so bad? Costco sells a boneless turkey breast and my kids love cranberry sauce (jellied), so that is my backup/go-to meal. We are Irish so I always have potatoes on hand. I grew up only eating meat and potatoes, but I have figured out how to make tasty meals that my family would consider exotic and wild, but there is no going back.
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