Any time the fact that we used to do Friday Night Family Dinner came up, people who don't know us wistfully say how nice that is. So, let me narrate how last night went:
We haven't been doing dinners because Kevin's parents have aged way too much to handle it. They go, alone and early, to the buffet instead now. We gladly stay home. The Brother pouts. (he's older, by the way, for people wondering. He will be sixty in the winter)
An old family friend that we don't see often asked everyone to meet them for dinner. Unfortunately, they asked the brother so the information we were given was not accurate or perhaps even true. Because yes, he makes things up so he looks like the good guy and/or victim, depending on the situation.
It was supposed to be in the town where Kevin works, where the friends live. Okay, it sucks that Kevin has to commute 35-40 minutes home, clean up, then return back but it's a one-off situation. The Brother's wife also works in this town so she had to do the same thing. To be fair, she doesn't need a shower after her workday and Kevin does.
Then came the What Time is Dinner conversation. Kevin gets off between 5:15 and 6:00. He's the boss so he's the last one out of the gate, usually. I say this not as a humblebrag but because the Brother just doesn't seem to understand this, like, ever. (I suspect the green-eyed monster)
Meanwhile, the brother is usually home around 4:00 every day and may I remind you: lives next door. Meaning he could totally gather up the parents, go to the restaurant and we'll catch up. But NO. We must travel together, because reasons. Kevin rolls with it, like he always does. He tells them that he will try to get out of there early but his work is super unpredictable.
Turns out that Kevin got home on time. But traffic was miserable because the Brother agreed to do this dinner on Friday Night of Labor Day weekend. We're literally traveling through two counties to get to this dumb dinner.
Oh, the dinner isn't in the town where Kevin works after all. It's twenty minutes FURTHER SOUTH. All I could hear in my head was Urkel: "Oops, did I do that?"
Sidebar: if it was coordinated by Kevin things would have happened. How about Saturday and not Friday. How about somewhere in the middle of all of us instead of nearly an hour away? How about we do it early so everyone can enjoy dinner. But no, because Kevin's brother coordinated it. AND, these folks are in their late sixties. They're no youngin's either so this wouldn't have been a big ask.
We are ready to leave and Kevin phones his parents to see if they're ready. Yes, they are. Is Uncle ready to go? They think so. (Uncle is staying here for two weeks, by the way. Because we need more people here.) Who is Uncle riding with? They don't know. THEY HAVE BEEN TOGETHER ALL DAY.
PAUSE:
Kevin, bless.his.heart. said that we should just ride with the Brother. He keeps trying to make fetch happen here and I've had to hardline him a few times. I don't want nor need to spend time with him, especially when he's driving because TERRIBLE driver. He accquiesed and we were taking our own truck.
Now we seque into who is taking the parents. They can get in our SUV but it's not easy because they're 80. The sister-in-law has an SUV that they CAN get into. Someone still needs to take Uncle. AND we are trying to keep the f-i-l off the roads so someone has to take someone.
No one can figure it out. It's impossible. It's an unsolvable puzzle.
We went outside and there stands Kevin's mom in the driveway. She has NO IDEA what she's doing. Kevin steers her back toward the house and his dad comes out and starts to clean out their van, as if they are taking it.
We hear the Brother start his TRUCK, not the SUV, and pull up the driveway. (don't get me started in transporting eighty-year-olds in a lifted, 4-wheel-drive truck. Ain't nobody got time for that.)
Kevin finally says that the parents are to ride with us. We adjust the seats, get a stool for his mom, and eventually get everyone loaded. We pull down the road and drive past the brother, who has the Uncle.
FIVE MINUTES LATER, WHILE ON THE FREEWAY, the s-i-l texts me and asks if they need to pick up the parents.
See? SUPER FUN.
About halfway there, it occurs to me that I didn't see his mom's oxygen get loaded into the truck. "Kev, do we have her oxygen." He blanches and says no. It's already way too late to return so we have to take our chances.
We got to the restaurant and Kevin goes to drop off his mom.We didn't have the handicapped placard because the brother and s-i-l keep the spare one. There was fortunately parking close by. Kevin gets his mom out of the car and there is confusion. We don't know why. Because this is our life right now.
His dad stays in the car. His brother is wandering around, doing anything not to have to help with the parents. Finally, we get everyone out and they proceed to stand in the middle of the driveway, holding up traffic. Talking. Because we don't live together.
I very nearly just got back into the truck. Bring me my dogblessed dinner out to the parking lot. Because I am over all y'all.
We finally get them inside and to the table. This is one of those opportunities where I want to drink. No, NEED to drink.
Dinner was fine, it wasn't the best restaurant to take elderly people who can't hear. Unfortunately, it was a long table so we weren't able to talk much, the whole point of this dinner.
We stayed too long, like always. Because eighty-year-olds shouldn't be out at the grille at 8:00 pm. This NEVER occurs to the Brother. He likes to stay and visit after dinner, like the restaurant doesn't need the table and his parents aren't elderly. Kevin usually hints, then states that it's time to go every time. Every time his brother gives him a wounded look like Kevin is being the d*ck.
SUUUUPPPERRR FUN. So.Much.
We got home just before 9:00, Kevin got the parents unloaded then walked them into the house to get settled in for the night. I parked the truck and went into our peaceful house and sighed heavily. He came home a few minutes later and we just exchanged THAT LOOK.
The LOOK where everything is shit and doesn't have to be and we're all over it and there is nothing to be said that we haven't already said/heard. AND, if you're thinking "our family would be easier..." I'm going to gently warn you that everything changes when parents/siblings age. It changes. It might be okay now but later, it might not.
So, yeah, Friday Night Family Dinner. Super fun. Rated: Two Stars. Maybe One and A Half. Do Not Recommend.
1 comment:
omg
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