George is Dead

If you watch Grey's Anatomy, you understand the title reference...if not, I'll explain later.

It's been three months since my dad passed away. Life as I know it has returned to normal. It's a relief not to have my cell phone in my possession 100% of the time, or to have constant pressure to call or visit, or the constant dread of the unknown. Family gatherings will hopefully not be tension filled. Everyone can finally just chill.

It's odd when the person who has passed is someone in which you have a difficult relationship. The rules don't necessarily apply in this case. In a terrible-ish way, it’s such a relief. It as if someone is just slowly letting the pressure out of your life and you can finally breathe. It also resolves so many issues: what to do when the loved one is old/sick, how to deal with visits & calls, guilt over not being there for X, Y or Z, the disconnected relationships, the unresolved issues.

So, in a zippy little twist, Swistle's mother-in-law dies. Suddenly I have a buddy in the "Isn't this Weird?" Club.

Grief is different for every person. Every person has to experience it to understand because you just can't predict how you'll handle it. I think there’s been such a focus on grieving and feeling your feelings that we’re programmed to think we should be feeling a, then b, then c.

But I think it’s such an individual thing and I think until you’re In It, you can’t guess or plan how you’re going to feel. You just got to breathe your way through it.

Oh, that’s right. The George is Dead reference. This season's first episode of Greys is where George actually died. One of the last scenes of the episode shows Cristina lying down at the end of a long day and weeks after Georges death. Suddenly the realization dawns on her and she turns, saying incredulously: “George is dead.”

Yeah. That’s how it feels.

So here’s to the dear Swistle: *Quaff*