26 January 2011

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

The other day when I was stress-cleaning it occurred to me that I have managed to have adult conversations with every single boy/guy that I've dated seriously when I was younger. (note: I did not say "married" because that simply isn't going to happen)

How weird is that? Is it just me?

I feel good about it. None of them were planned, all circumstantial. Some of the conversations were not easy but some of them were. One was a mere scuffing of feet, downcasting of eyes, and a "Hey, how've you been?" but it counts. We spoke! We broke the ice. I, or we I assume, won't feel it necessary to avoid each other in the mall or grocery store.

Maybe it's just because I've been alive this long & the opportunities have presented themselves. Maybe it's because I live in a small-town world: I have some of the same friends I've had since I was a teenager and I have never moved out of the county of my birth.

In the age of the facebook and interwebs it is easier to check up on former boyfriends. I think they call it cyberstalking...joking...but to hold actual conversations is different. I cringe at the word "closure" but it does hold some worth in this situation.

When I thought of it, and keep in mind it's not a high number, I mostly think "Whew, dodged a bullet there" or "Am I glad that's not my life". Sometimes there is a tinge of what-might-have-been, as I think is human nature and not a reflection on me or my marriage.

Overall, each of them made me the wife I am today. I learned something, good or bad, about me or relationships or men from each of them. I can hope that I am better because of them.

How about you? Have you talked with any ex-boyfriends? Was it good? bad?


Bethany said...

Well, not sure he qualified as an actual boyfriend, but I went on a few dates with this one guy. After one of the dates, I never heard from him again until about 6 months later, WHEN I WAS IN A BRIDAL SHOP finding bridesmaid dresses for my sister's wedding. Uhhhh...awkward. He claimed he lost my number (and somehow recovered it that much later?!)...crazy.

creative kerfuffle said...

closure is wonderful. seriously wonderful.