The other day when I was stress-cleaning it occurred to me that I have managed to have adult conversations with every single boy/guy that I've dated seriously when I was younger. (note: I did not say "married" because that simply isn't going to happen)
How weird is that? Is it just me?
I feel good about it. None of them were planned, all circumstantial. Some of the conversations were not easy but some of them were. One was a mere scuffing of feet, downcasting of eyes, and a "Hey, how've you been?" but it counts. We spoke! We broke the ice. I, or we I assume, won't feel it necessary to avoid each other in the mall or grocery store.
Maybe it's just because I've been alive this long & the opportunities have presented themselves. Maybe it's because I live in a small-town world: I have some of the same friends I've had since I was a teenager and I have never moved out of the county of my birth.
In the age of the facebook and interwebs it is easier to check up on former boyfriends. I think they call it cyberstalking...joking...but to hold actual conversations is different. I cringe at the word "closure" but it does hold some worth in this situation.
When I thought of it, and keep in mind it's not a high number, I mostly think "Whew, dodged a bullet there" or "Am I glad that's not my life". Sometimes there is a tinge of what-might-have-been, as I think is human nature and not a reflection on me or my marriage.
Overall, each of them made me the wife I am today. I learned something, good or bad, about me or relationships or men from each of them. I can hope that I am better because of them.
How about you? Have you talked with any ex-boyfriends? Was it good? bad?